G’day one and all and welcome to a special edition of the Top 100 WWE Superstars of All Time, I am your host The King of Stats ready to look at the WWE career of one of wrestling's true greats. Last week the wrestling world was dealt a blow when a legend of the business, “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes, unfortunately passed away, leaving us for the squared circle in the sky. It is for this reason I am postponing our scheduled column #93 so that I can bring you this very special edition, a look at the WWE career of Dusty Rhodes. So sit back and enjoy what was a small part of one of wrestling’s finest.




I have never been a real big fan of Dusty, mainly because my major knowledge comes from his WWE wrestling or his WCW commentary, neither of which offer a great look at what he could do. The more time that passes though the more I learn of his career outside of these two and I am starting to realise that I shouldn’t judge him based just on those small parts of his career and instead take a look at the whole of his career. In saying that though it is his WWE career we will be looking at here as is the nature of this column, which in itself is a good move since I couldn’t really do his career outside the WWE justice and therefore it is best left to more knowledgeable writers.

Rhodes career was already in full swing before he made his debut in the WWE. Having close to 10 years experience already he had won many of the NWA territories local belts establishing himself as a rising star. In March of 1977 he would appear in two matches at Madison Square Garden and would be warmly welcomed by the New York crowd. Because of Rhodes becoming an established name and the reaction he had at his debut he was brought back into the WWE later in the year to feud with the federations champion at the time “Superstar” Billy Graham.

WWE CAREER
Matches: 290
Record: 212-70-8
Win %: 73.10%
Years Active: 11

Their first match would take place in September and would set the tone for the quality of matches that were too follow between the two. This match, lasting for 15 minutes, would eventually be won by Rhodes after Graham was counted out. A rematch was set for a month later, this time however it would be wrestled under Texas Death Match rules. In what was a Dusty trade mark the brutality in the match was at a high and the sell out crowd was at a fever-pitch. The match however would not go in Rhodes favour as Graham would win, pinning him after a mid-ring collision.


This would end the initial MSG part of their feud with Rhodes moving on to have solo matches wins against Butcher Vachon, Stan Stasiak, The Golden Terror and Prof Toru Tanaka over the coming months inside its hallowed walls. Their feud however would continue elsewhere with the first match taking place in the Boston Gardens in January. While the match would go in Rhodes favour by referee stoppage this would not see the title change hands as were the rules of the era. With Graham dropping the title to Bob Backlund the next month the future of their feud would not be over a belt.

DEBUTS
WWE Debut: 7/3/77 defeated Rocky Tamayo
TV Debut: 28/3/77 defeated Tor Komato on WWWF on MSG Network
MSG Debut: 7/3/77 defeated Rocky Tamayo

Now without the World Championship taking up Graham’s time the two were able to face off on a more regular basis, doing the rounds of the various house shows around the circuit, never finishing a match with a clean result. However at the WWE’s home of MSG the two would still be kept apart. In March Rhodes would team with Andre the Giant and Mil Mascaras (now isn’t that a dream trio there?) in a victorious effort against Mr Fuji, Prof Toru Tanaka and Ken Patera followed up the next month by a draw in a singles match against Spiros Arion.


In July the pair would finally cross paths again at the Garden with Graham getting the win by DQ. This set up for their final MSG match the next month, this time in a Bullrope Match. With Chief Jay Strongbow as the referee Rhodes was finally able to get the decisive victory against Superstar inside the Garden and finishing their feud inside of it. Their feud would however continue outside New York for a little longer, including a couple more Bullrope matches inside the Capital Centre and the Philadelphia Spectrum.

WWE TV/PPV
TV Matches: 64
PPV Main Events: 0

Next up for Rhodes in the MSG were a few losses in 6-man tags the first with Dino Bravo and Dominic DeNucci against Ivan Koloff, Victor Rivera and Yukon Pierre in December and with Larry Zbyszko and Tony Garea against The Valiant Brothers and Captain Lou Albano in March. This second match would be Rhodes last match in the WWE for seven months, which included him winning the NWA World Heavyweight Championship for the first time, before he returned to beat Jimmy Valiant in October and lose by referee stoppage in a match for the NWA World Heavyweight Championship against Harley Race in December.

Ten months later Rhodes would turn up in the WWE and MSG teaming with Pat Patterson in a Tag Title match against The Wild Samoans. They would win by referee's decision but would of course leave without the titles in what would become Rhode’s last ever shot at a title in the WWE. After another hiatus which would include his second NWA World Heavyweight Title reign, Rhodes would come back and get solo wins against Killer Khan, Ron Shaw, The Executioner and twice against Angelo Mosca.

TITLE REIGNS
NIL

Other than a return for one match against Samula in 1983 Rhodes would not wrestle in the WWE for eight years between November 1981 and November of 1989. In this time he would be focused elsewhere, in particular Jim Crockett Promotions, the WWE’s major rival of the time, where Rhodes would become a booker. He would have a helping hand in creating Starrcade in 1983 and would have his third and final NWA World Heavyweight Title reign in 1986.

It would be in November 1988 where Rhodes would open the door to once again being able to appear for the WWE. JCP had recently been sold to Turner Broadcasting and one of their mandates was that blood was no longer allowed on television. Furious with this decision Rhodes as the booker booked Road Warrior Animal to use a spike to open up a cut near his eye which led to Rhodes being fired.

PUBLIC OPINION
Site 1 score: 6.89/10
Site 2 ranking: 31st/533

Rhodes’s return to the WWE would happen in May 1989 but it would not be the same Rhodes that everybody was used too. As punishment for his involvement in JCP he was given the gimmick of being “The Common Man” Dusty Rhodes and was dressed in black with yellow polka dots, an attempt at humiliating him. For his first couple of months he would face Ted DiBiase, a man he would feud with later, on the house show circuit. After only having two matches on TV, wins against DiBiase and Barry Horowitz, Rhodes would beat The Honkey Tonk Man at Summerslam.


With his win at Summerslam Rhodes would start to get more TV time which would include wins over Boris Zhukov, Dale Wolfe, George South, Joe Cruz, Rusty Riddle and Akeem. Rhodes would captain a team at Survivor Series named the Dream Team, consisting of Brutus Beefcake, The Red Rooster and Tito Santana against the Big Boss Man led Enforcers of him, Bad News Brown, The Honkey Tonk Man and Rick Martel. Rhodes and Beefcake would be the survivors but the night would be more important in the fact that it was the first time we would see Sapphire in the crowd. Two nights later, in a show which was in fact taped the month prior, Sapphire would once again appear in the crowd cheering Rhodes on.

AWARDS
Ranked #11 of the 500 best singles wrestlers of the PWI Years in 2003
WON Hall of Fame - Class of 1996
WWE Hall of Fame - Class of 2007
Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame - Class of 2010

“Sweet” Sapphire as she would become named starting accompanying Rhodes to the ring and it would not be long before At the 1990 Royal Rumble Sapphire would be the second guest of the night on the Brother Love Show with Sensational Sherri which would ignite a feud between them and their respective wrestlers, Rhodes and Randy Savage. This feud would first come to a head at Wrestlemania VI when the two pairings would face off in a mixed tag match with Rhodes and Sapphire walking out winners due to help from Miss Elizabeth.


Over the next few months the teams would continue their feud with them having numerous singles matches, both the men and the women, and more mixed tag matches, on the house show circuit. To culminate the feud they were scheduled to have singles matches against each other at Summerslam. Sapphire, who had been receiving gifts leading up to the show, failed to turn up for her match thus giving the win to Sherri by forfeit. Before Rhodes match against Savage Ted DiBiase revealed he had bought Sapphire thus distracting Rhodes and he would lose the match after being hit by Sherri’s purse.

TOP 5 MATCHES
1 Dusty Rhodes v Superstar Billy Graham - WWWF on MSG Network - 26/9/77
2 Dusty Rhodes v Superstar Billy Graham - WWWF on MSG Network - 28/8/78
3 Dusty Rhodes v Superstar Billy Graham - WWWF on MSG Network - 24/10/77
4 Dusty Rhodes & Dustin Rhodes v Ted DiBiase & Virgil - Royal Rumble - 19/1/91
5 Dusty Rhodes v Jimmy Valiant - WWF on MSG Network - 22/10/79

Now without Sapphire, who left the WWE not long after Summerslam, Rhodes would lose the polka dots and start a feud against DiBiase. At Survivor Series he would captain another Dream Team, this time made up of The Hart Foundation and Koko B Ware in a losing effort to DiBiase’s Million Dollar Team which also included Rhythm N Blues and the debuting Undertaker. A Couple of days later he would team with his son Dustin Rhodes (nka Goldust) in a losing effort against DiBiase and Virgil at MSG, a match that would be done again at the Royal Rumble with the exact same result. Both father and son would soon leave the company and leave to WCW without having any more matches in the WWE during that run of employment.


This would be the end of Rhodes full time wrestling career with him making the move into the commentary box in WCW that I was talking about before. It would not be until 2005 that Rhodes would once again return to the WWE, where he worked up until his death. In that time he has made many appearances on WWE TV which has included him being involved in three matches. The first of which was a win against Nicky (nka Dolph Ziggler) on November 20, 2006 edition on Raw, six days before they would square off again at Survivor Series with Nicky being part of the Spirit Squad against Ric Flair’s legends which also included Ron Simmons and Sgt Slaughter, with Flair being the only survivor. Rhode’s last match would be a losing effort against Randy Orton in a Texas Bullrope Match at the Great American Bash in 2007.

Early that year Rhodes accepted his WWE Hall of Fame ring, a ring that he surely deserved. He was a major star who proved that you did not have to be built like a brick shithouse or be athletically gifted to become a star, all you needed was a love for the business and the passion to do what it takes. He was a hero to the common man, an indicator that we too could really do something if we put our mind to it. But most of all he was someone we could cheer, a true working class hero. While Dusty has now left us his legacy will live on in the minds of those he touched both the fans and the wrestlers he fought and trained, and through his sons Dustin and Cody. RIP Dusty.

The Wrestling Classic Review for Geeks & Cool Kids Alike

I have to be honest, I have never watched this particular event prior to reviewing this. I always thought it was just kind of a generic PPV, and American Mikey P doesn't do generic anything. Come to find out though this is actually the first WWF PPV ever, which I guess is pretty cool or maybe not. The good news is the show is in the Rosemont, one of my all time favorite arenas, wish things didn't become so corporate and we could go back to calling arenas by their birth names. Is a little tradition too much to ask for? Anyway, this show is primarily a tournament for god only knows what, but I suppose it doesn't matter since fans were far less douchey back then. Vince and Lord Alfred Hayes are hosting this show with some random kind of hot blond who unfortunately is dressed like Ms. Havisham, she's a character from an epic novel for you illiterate idiots out there. It should be noted though that our good friend Alfred is dressed somewhat normal making up for the disgrace of an outfit he wore at the first WrestleMania. On the subject of outfits Monsoon looks like a fucking Valentine card, but he gets a pass since he's practically a grandfather to me since I spent so much time with him through TV in my early years. Well onto the review, I have no idea how this show is going to go. (Please be better than NWA, please be better than NWA)

PS: This is the first show that Vince starts giving away random expensive shit to fans, right? In this case a Rolls Royce. Oh, and the intro for Wrestlevision is like a gameshow, fucking 80’s awesome in the most cheezy way.

The Wrestling Classic
November 7, 1985
Rosemont Horizon, Chicago Illinois
Att: 14,000

Analyzing for the Geeks


Round 1
Adrian Adonis vs Corporal Kirchner

Jimmy Hart is rocking a tiger striped jacket and is looking fly as fuck. At first glance you would think that this match was featuring a GI Joe vs an extra from Grease. Adrian Adonis is one of my many guilty pleasures and I don’t remember much about Kirchner in fact I think I hate him. Adonis is very slick in the ring and hits very crisp moves for a guy that looks like a fat Robert Dinero. Not exactly the way I would open a show, with a 2 minute squash.

Grade: F+ mainly because Adonis hits a couple sick looking moves including a vicious back suplex and reversing a suplex into a single arm DDT type move out of nowhere to beat GI Joe's Zap.(Look him up) By the way is this ring a giant dog cage with a canvas over it, it is loud as fuck.

Round 1
Dynamite Kid vs Nikolai Volkoff

American Mikey P loves the fucking Dynamite Kid, I dont know if that makes me a hypocrite since I hate Chris Benoit. The crowd also goes bonkers for the Kid as soon as they announce his name. Im going to give Chicago a pass here and I'll pretend the USA chant is for the referee. It should be noted, Nikolai has a surprisingly very solid singing voice. Clearly the FBI wasn't going to let the KGB infiltrate the referee’s locker room tonight like they did in NYC back at WM I, because the fix is in here. Dynamite tells the ref to ring the bell as soon as he gets to the top rope while poor Volkoff is singing his National Anthem so he can hit an amazing flying drop kick to pull off the sneaky win in like 4 seconds.

Grade: D-. Looks like another low grade here and should be lower but because the crowd goes apeshit for the outcome of this one I have no choice. Dynamite Kid is also raging on his way out screaming fuck yeah after the win. Wish I could give the whole segment an A.

Round 1
Macho Man vs Ivan Putski

Business is about to pick up in these reviews because Macho Man has entered the picture. American Mikey P loves Savage. I love his entrance gear, his music, his tights, his manager, and yeah I suppose he is a pretty good wrassler too. Not sure why they needed Chicago’s public works department to lead them down to the ring, but I guess you can't have those geeky perverts copping feels on the Queen of Pro Wrestling. As for Putski, eh, he still looks like he is wrestling in the 1960s with that haircut. Match is pretty much a little cat and mouse game with some brutal loogies being exchanged in one another’s faces. Randy is so smart when it comes to Pro Wrestling that at one point he places Elizabeth on the camera side of the ring so all of us scoundrels can drool over her through our TV sets, well in AMP’s case his iPad. Ventura calling Ivan “Paduski" throughout the entire match is hilarious.

Grade: D-. The Madness will never get an F and you people will just have to live with it. Oh, and Ms. Elizabeth’s face after Savage cheats is priceless, “I cant believe he did that, we have to get the hell out of here.”

Round 1
Ricky Steamboat vs Davey Boy Smith

I can only imagine the hard-ons that the geeks have for this match, too bad it’s the first round for some mid card tourney. It’s a crying shame too because for the two minutes that this match is giving there is some damn impressive wrestling. Apparently geeky wrestling was called scientific wrestling back in the 80’s. The WWF dropped the ball here because the crowd was into this as soon as the bell rang.

Grade: D- for the potential and little that we were given. It is very hard to grade this show based on the circumstances of time allotted to each match. At least Jesse agrees with AMP and knows the sneaky son of a bitch Steamboat is secretly happy the match was called on an injury to the “groin area”.

Round 1
Iron Sheik vs JYD

The mustache in the game, thats right even American Mikey P has to give the nod to the Sheik over Hogan in that department. Not much to talk about here other than JYD selling the hell out of a missed head butt. Then Jesse completely lying to all of America (can’t imagine the rest of the world wanted to watch this show) about no one ever escaping the Camel Clutch, umm… helloooo, the birth of Hulkamania dude. I’m trying to remember my childhood here but the more I watch old wrestling I feel like Sheik and Volkoff were just jobbers with super over gimmicks.

Grade: F+ by no choice because the crowd loved JYD here. The fucking match ended on a basic head butt, such a BS NWA finish. AMP deserves a trophy for writing this review for you people.

Round 1
Moondog Spot vs Terry Funk

So Terry Funk looks like a mid 90s Disney channel villain in his Mexican cowboy get up. As for Moondog, well he looks like the 80s version of Droz, wonder why he didn't get over. Absolutely shocked at the outcome of this. I’m not a Terry Funk kind of guy but how do you knock this guy out in round 1, never mind to this fucking jamuke. Vince sticking it to the NWA here, has to be, American Mikey P kind of respects it. Geeks can’t be happy about this though.

Grade: F I mean the ending as a surprise and the crowd goes nuts for the upset. You could certainly tell the crowd was intrigued by this match up and unsure on who to boo and cheer for until Funk made it clear. Funk doesn't fit the Hart family faction in my opinion. This show is fucking brutal haha.

Round 1
Tito Santana vs Don Muracco

This may be the worst match I have ever seen in my life. Here I was ripping the first two Starrcade’s for some of their endings. Holy fucking shit, what a disgrace. How in God’s name do you decide to go with this conclusion? Let American Mikey P break it down. After some boring, generic, vanilla wrestling for two minutes, like the kind I image they show in an introduction class to become a pro wrestler, Murraco pins Tito with a powerslam. My reaction, “Wow” clean pin on the IC champ in the first round, what the fuck is Vinnie thinking? Unfortunately, he was better off going that route because the ref rings the bell which means the match is over, now AMP knows very little about wrestling rules but I know that is a fucking rule, unless they ring the bell again and the ref says it’s continuing, wrestling 101 brotha. Well Tito apparently had his leg on the rope of course no evidence just like Deflate Gate, and gets a dirty cheap pin. Jesse is irate, poor Gorilla has no clue on how to sell this to the viewers and the icing on the cake is the crowd is not only booing but fucking chanting bullshit.

Grade: F-. A fucking F-, first one ever, a fucking 0. Now I know where Eddie stole his gimmick from.

Round 1
Mr.Wonderful vs Bob Orton

Orndorff has the body of a Greek God while Bobby boy is rocking the Saturday morning dad body. Apparently Heenan has a $55K bounty on Orndorff, seems like an odd number if you ask me but I digress. This is actually a fun match, Wonderful is doing some brutal moves to Orton's arm, including a spot where he has a chicken wing lock with his feet or some shit. I don’t know I’ll let the geeks look up the name of that one. This one had the crowd on their feet for most of it and Gorilla and Monsoon are at their best here. You would think by now the officials would not let Orton compete with that cast, he certainly took that gimmick and rode with it for quite some time.

Grade: C-. This one may have snuck into the C range because everything else to this point has been so bad. Lets pray that Round 2 is better, I doubt it. PS we are brought back stage where Alfred Hayes is completely groping and sexually assaulting the random hot blonde. Vince is so fucked in the head.

Round 2
Dynamite Kid vs Adrian Adonis

Thank God they added that extra 5 minutes to each match of round two, because
the first round matches all went down to the wire. I like Adonis, I love Kid, I’m not sure I’d pay to see either of these two wrestle. Quite the odd pairing. Regardless of that, fun little match that saw Adonis use the greatest submission of all time, the SharpShooter.

Grade: D+ Way too generous here but I thought this match was over like four different times and the crowd loved all the moves Dynamite was pulling off. That is two OK matches in a row, well aren't we just on a roll now.

Round 2
Steamboat vs Macho Man

This match is a foreshadowing of what would happen 2 years later, you can clearly see the chemistry here, despite it being so short. I take it not many people know this match exists. The fact that Macho Man is already getting slight pops a couple months into his WWF career is incredible, though maybe they are just for Liz, I’m not sure. But I will tell you what, I bet the other wrestlers hated Savage for the fact that he gets this awesome entrance music with a smoking hot chick walking him to the ring every night. Monsoon’s constant frustration with how Randy treats Liz is hysterical. Honest question, can it be a Pearl Harbor Job if it is done to Steamboat?

Grade: D. Just too short, really too bad. Gorilla and Jesse are once again great here on the mic. Very interesting that the same spot Blanchard and Steamboat used in their match at Starrcade was the finisher of this match. Ricky goes for a back suplex into the ring and Savage reaches in his tights mid air and smashes that dork in the head with some swamp ass stinking object. Gotta love the Madness.

Round 2
JYD vs Moon Dog Spot

JYD’s pops are pretty fucking big. I didn't think a match could be worse that that Titogate match but this is absolutely unbelievable. There is no fucking referee, so JYD does his own three count after a head butt and apparently that is legal. This has to be the worst show in the history of pro wrestling. You didn't think there would be a highlight in this match, but there clearly is. Moon Dog misses a big splash which is followed by, “He telegraphed that move from 14 blocks away, Jesse.” American Mikey P couldn't help but chuckle at this quote from the legend.

Grade: F-. The best part of this is Gorilla clearly doesn't think the match even started after it ended and seems bewildered as to what he is suppose to say about this and thinks its just a comedy bit by JYD. Of course Monsoon being the greatest ever comes up with the official at ring side says its ok. This show is so bad at this point referees are embarrassed to be out there.


Round 2
Tito Santana vs Mr. Wonderful

The cheater Tito Santana is back out and receives some boos, and rightfully so. To be honest here not much to talk about with this match other than Tito selling a leg injury for most of it and Jesse providing hilarious racial commentary throughout. It is actually worth checking out just for the commentary, only if you have a sense of humor though, some of you geeks will probably watch this and request it get taken down from the network.

Grade: D. The crowd is clearly getting fed up with the bullshit endings here, this one ending in a double count out and some trash filling the ring. Thank everything that is Red and Yellow that someone is coming to save us in the next match. Oh and for those that are interested Alfred is shown still borderline raping the kind of hot blond in the back.


WWF Heavyweight Championship Match
Hulk Hogan vs Rowdy Roddy Piper

First off Hulk Hogan’s head is twice the size of Mean Gene’s, those are some incredible vitamins he is taken. This match was obviously moved from the Main Event so people wouldn't leave this diareah of a show early. For you people that live in God’s country aka Boston, I’m pretty sure the ref for this match waits tables now at Santapios Pizza. The match over all is a fun little brawl that is carried my the theatrics of Piper and Hogan. Should be noted the refereeing for this event has been awful. Umm hello, when someone reaches the ropes in a submission you break the hold dummy. The fact that Hogan ripped the ref’s shirt with his pinky, is justice enough for that terrible missed call.

Grade: C-. Nothing great here, but compared to what I have watched so far I won’t complain about this match. I love how Piper can go ten years without losing a match by pinball or submission and you geeks don’t give him any shit, but Hogan doesn’t lose to Bret Hart in 93 who was nothing but a glorified mid carder at the time and he gets crucified on a wrestling cross. Wrestling just breeds hipocrites.

Round 3
Macho Man vs Dynamite Kid

Savage’s stars and stripes cape is off the hook stylish here. This is another dream match for many of the geeks out there, myself included, but of course they only give this a couple minutes like every other match. Monsoon is completely confused as to what Liz’s role is so Jesse has to chime in and say, “ If you dont know what her role is by looking at her, than you are too old to explain it to”. And that is why the Body is the GOAT.

Grade: C- For the ending Superplex spot alone. Very creative for this time period in AMP opinion. Also had the place going crazy for it.

Finals:
Macho Man vs JYD

So JYD winds up winning this “epic” tournament with one pin, declaring himself the winner in his second match, a bye, and a count out. Tough day at the office Dog. If Macho Man goes two feet near the crowd they are trying to hit him, it is actually quite the site. Mean Geane slithers his way somehow on to commentary and he makes a fool out of himself trying to be cool with the original Gs of the mics. Overall the match isn't that bad, a decent little brawl that apparently allowed chairs to be legal. I tell ya America, the refs tonight are god damn awful. Maybe I was wrong about the NWA refs…

Grade: C- But only because the crowd is really into this, like insanely into this, I’m not sure why either. Liz probably has their testosterone at a higher level than they should be, only reason I can think of. The best part about this match is the aftermath. Mean Gene is interviewing JYD and Jesse comes in and comletely squashes him telling him how he only really won two matches. JYD just accepts it and almost looks embarrassed. I kind of felt bad for him. I’m also pretty sure JYD only knows a headbutt and an atomic drop. To be honest I think JYD kind of sucks.

Thank fucking god that is over, there is very little cool about this but alas I must go forth with…


The Stuff that Really Matters for Cool Kids


Fan of the Night:

Meet the Larry David of wrestling fans. This guy was fucking awesome. Had no interest in the show just doing street performances in the stands.

Chant of the Night
“Hogan, Hogan, Hogan” There was only one and it was for the man himself, sorry haters not much I can do there. I try not to be biased but facts are facts.

Sign of the Night

Again, there was only one. Like I said two seconds ago, facts are facts. Though someone tell L-Boy to straighten up and stand, for christ sakes man get it together.

Quote of the Night:
"You dont think a Taco salesman from Tijuana can’t be bought?” ~ Ventura on why he thinks Tito will hurt Mr. Wonderful in order to claim Heenan’s bounty on him. No commentary needed on my part to tell you why this quote took the cake.

Guilty Pleasure:
Mene Geane’s terrible acting. Always acting completely mortified by the heels’ actions during backstage interviews. “You might want to keep the cameras above the waist back here we have men getting out of the showers”. That is an actual quote by the legend himself. Byron Saxon eat your heart out kid.

Best Dressed:
The most underrated wrestling outfit is Hulk Hogan’s all white look with the American Made Jersey. I wish they still sold that jersey, classic.

Worst Dressed:
Gorila Monsoon looking like a fucking Valentine’s day card I gave to my friends in first grade. I generally went with the TMNT cards for those that care. Should be Terry Funk’s parody cowboy get up, but I will try to be fair.

Hottest Diva
Ms. Elizabeth, and good luck to any other chick in the WWE from this point on until she leaves.

Pop of the Night:
Hulk Hogan. It was so loud you could barely here his music. All Hogan baby. The geeks are pissed, but this is why this is the cool kid section.

Tweet of the Night:

Yeah don’t waste your money on this piece of shit.

Spot of the Night:
The top rope superplex by Dynamite Kid that was turned into a cradle by Macho Man. Jesse and Gorilla are absolutely in awe of this move as is the entire arena. Of course ECW would ruin spots like this by having them done 439 times a night through houses and trolleys.

Moment of the Night:
The Rolls Royce segment followed by this quote, “Thats a good looking car huh Susan? ~ Vince. It is? Oh yeah it is. ~Susan” Hysterical. And we finally learned her name.

All American:
Have to go with Savage here. He completely dominated the Chicago crowd from getting small pops and also infuriating them at times.

Match of the Night:
Petty much stuck going with Hogan vs Piper, no other match got enough time. To be perfectly honest I don’t think any match deserves it.

Fans/Venue
C-. Terrible crowd for Chicago standards, but at the same time they were not given much to work with here. Though when you look closely there are some great characters in that crowd.

Final Grade:
D- on paper but an F on my eyes. This was fucking dreadful. Might be the worst wrestling show I have ever seen. If I am going to give Starrcade shit for having dumb ass endings, then I have to give the first PPV ever some serious vomit. You have a super tournament ending without pin fall or submission, on top of having matches such as Dynamite vs Macho Man, Steamboat vs Macho Man, Davey Boy vs Steamboat and they all suck. This just proves Vince is smarter than us all he puts this crap on, and the WWF just gets even bigger after it. Proving the wrestling means absolutely nothing compared to the spectacle. As bad as this was, I would probably love this show if I was there live tomorrow. There was terrible wrestling, dumb booking, but it was fun if nothing else. Oh and the closing credits music is A+ stuff. Kevin Dunn way ahead of the game.

Get me back South to the NWA for a little vacation to collect my thoughts. Vince how could you?


Till next time folks,

Love Your Country
Respect Your Parents
And Tip You Bartenders

American Mikey P

F2F train coming down the tracks…

Sub Mariner – Dasher having a title shot sits really well with me, in spite of having no specific in depth story going on at the moment he just feels like the perfect man to go after Hallowicked next. He’s a really special talent, I’m so impressed with how unbelievably good he’s gotten after being rough in his early years. CHIKARA refs are a special breed in that they are (mostly) not stupid props and can have personalities and sometimes get in on the fun. And Juan is Juan, I love him so!!

Rayman – Lariat. Tubman. I wrote about that days ago and I’m still sitting here and marveling about how awesome that is. Condron should be up everyone’s alley, but I’m curious what about Juan sits with you the wrong way? And yes, I truly believe that CHIKARA is the most feminist promotion in the history of wrestling in that they present women as absolute equals, not by blindly ignoring that they are often smaller and sometimes sport less physical force but by celebrating the different strengths they do have and presenting them in such a way that they can use their speed, intelligence, strikes, technical ability, and anything else they bring to the table to stand on realistic footing to any man. In a world where Rey Mysterio can wrestle Big Show and we are asked to take it seriously, but if Beth Phoenix got in the ring with him it would be regarded as either a joke or some kind of crime, it’s a wonderfully refreshing position. In CHIKARA everyone is just a person (or possibly an ice cream cone or insect), and they are judged by what they bring to the table instead of what’s inside their pants. I could easily write a whole column about this but I’ll leave it at that for now before I start tearing up about how utopian this kind of concept is…


And now, back to your friendly neighborhood CHIKARA!



We are welcomed, as usual by the “Rock ‘n’ Roll Ring Announcer” Gavin Loudspeaker and senior CHIKARA referee Bryce Remsburg. Gavin is quite hyped, falling on the floor at one point and also dancing with an older woman in the crowd as the fans chant “Wrestle Granny”. Ah, CHIKARA. Ready for the action? I know I am!

And also don’t forget, this event is part of the CHIKARA Challenge of the Immortals 2015 (or, COTI15), a season long competition in which 10 teams compete in a variety of matches for a “Golden Opportunity”. Want to know more? Check out my big ol’ column on it!

N_R_G is backstage for a promo. Race is hyperactively shouting about this and that, while Hype yawns. Race shouts at Hype about being tired and says he’s great but he needs to wake up. Fair point, I suppose, though if all that shouting doesn’t wake him up I’m not sure what will.

Silver Ant & Frightmare vs. Kevin Condron & Lucas Calhoun vs. Amasis & Worker Ant vs. N_R_G (Hype Rockwell & Race Jackson) – Elimination Match

The Players: First up to the plate you have the makeshift team of Silver Ant, member of the fan favorite ant-themed stable the Colony and absolute boss of technical wrestling, teaming up with Frightmare, one of the premiere speed and flying wrestlers around today. Both guys are very talented, but there’s an interesting dynamic between them, specifically that Frightmare has this year shown a much more vicious and underhanded side compared to previous years ever since his leader, Hallowicked, converted to worshiping the dark god Nazmaldun (CHIKARA!). Silver has no issue teaming with someone as talented as Frightmare, but isn’t very comfortable adopting his underhanded ways. Still, this team has been very impressive so far this year, after having been grouped together as part of Hallowicked’s COTI team, The Nightmare Warriors.

Next up we have Kevin Condron and “Lucas Calhoun”, formerly known as Volgar. The short version on Condron is that he’s a smirking young man who’s is out to expose what he feels is hypocrisy in CHIKARA, all the while gathering as much attention and glory to himself as he possibly can. Calhoun is, in the short term, more complicated to explain. As Volgar he was a misplaced henchman without a villain, a relic of the Flood War that CHIKARA went through in 2014, until with Condron’s encouragement he voluntarily unmasked at the previous night’s event (an act that goes against all the traditions of CHIKARA) and took on a new persona. Nothing was known prior to this event of his new character, and, well, I’ll get into it below…

The third team is another one loosely banded together by the COTI tournament, the Egyptian themed “Funky Pharaoh” Amasis and another Colony member, the powerful Worker Ant. Both are working apart from their regular tag partners here, so we shall see how they fare.

Last and, well, possibly least is N_R_G, a team visually modeled off of the old Koko B Ware/Owen Hart team High Energy, but with a twist! You see Race Jackson is loud and energetic, but he gets that way because he always sleeps in the car while his partner drives, which leaves Hype exhausted for all their matches. They recently came up short against the Devastation Corporation in a shot for the tag team championships, so they’ll be looking to regain some points and get another shot.

Speaking of which, this whole match is for points towards tag team championship contention, you get one point for every team you eliminate but if you don’t win the whole match you get nothing! The stakes are high(ish) so let’s get to it!

The Match: Kevin Condron comes out last of the bunch, and though he is joined by the Snow Troll, a sycophantic follower whom he rescued from the Flood last year, that is not his partner in this match. He is also joined by his pretty sweet theme song, but that is also not his partner. Condron smirks and says to the camera “they’re starting to take notice” as he hears a few cheers heading his way, then he whispers something Gavin. Gavin seems nonplussed, but then announces to the crowd that “Volgar has left the building”. Some Elvis style music plays, and “Juke Joint” Lucas Calhoun enters! Having completely set aside his former threatening persona, Calhoun is apparently embracing his fun loving side by adopting a somewhat Honky Tonk Man-esque Elvis crooner gimmick. This is… strange, to say the least, but in fairness Calhoun now appears to be having a ton of fun with the part, and honestly looks one hundred billion times better now that he is not wearing a poop brown full body spandex onesie. I believe the inference is that this is the kind of goofy fun thing that Calhoun wanted to do from the start, but he was forced into an evil role by circumstance and then felt trapped in it due to CHIKARA tradition until Condron empowered him to free himself. I still think this may be an awkward transition, but if that’s the idea behind it then it’s a very interesting one, and even more interesting Calhoun may now be unwittingly enthralled to yet another negative influence in Condron, one which appears much more tempting on the outside but is just as corrosive deep down. Anyway, back in the moment Condron more or less ignores Calhoun’s goofy antics, but seems pleased to have this ally. And we’re off and running!

Calhoun comes in early and wants to show off some dance moves, but unfortunately for his he is immediately mauled by Frightmare with a frenzy of strikes. Can’t please everyone! Hype Rockwell tries his hand against Frightmare and does slightly better, but quickly wears himself out throwing punches and gets tired. Hype locks on a sleeper, but instead he goes to sleep himself! That’s not very useful, Hype. Frightmare smacks him awake, and Hype tries to level him with the Hyperwheel (spinning backbreaker), but Frightmare is too agile and he counters out in midair to hit a crazy headscissors that sends Hype to the floor, then follows him out with a dive that floors him. Race and Calhoun pop in next, and Calhoun shows off some dancing style offense that confounds Race. Race counters with a slightly awkward looking hurricanrana, then kind of shoulder blocks him through the ropes. Condron heads in but Amasis is quick to cut him off, and Condron prefers to duck and dodge instead of stand and fight. He gets caught eventually though, and Amasis tosses him around with some nice armdrags and headscissors. Condron gets one hard slap to Amasis’ face though, and then he retreats with a huge smirk like he just won the entire match. Silver wants to take on Amasis, but Amasis tags in Worker Ant, and it’s Colony vs. Colony! They show a bit of mutual respect and then get right to it. Worker tries to outwrestle Silver, but that’s a fools game because Silver is an ACE on the mat. Silver is very sportsmanlike about it though, which makes Frightmare really angry on the apron. Meanwhile, Hype is so tired he slides off the apron. Frightmare tries to get Silver to do something underhanded, but he refuses, and Worker ends up booting Silver in the face to counter a corner charge. Worker tries to follow it up by splashing Silver in the corner, but Silver pulls out this sweet 619-esque counter that dazes Worker. Worker dodges a double stomp, and tags out to Race Jackson.

Race races around the ring wildly because of course he does, until Silver kicks him in the face. Silver goes up to the 2nd rope and Race tries to pull him down, but Silver counters it midair into a DDT that looks absolutely awesome. Silver brings in Frightmare, who hits a sweet dropkick on Race. Silver comes back in and he batters Race in the face, then hits a nice power slam/leg drop combo. Race tries to come up but Silver controls the arm and grounds him to the mat. As Race continues to try to struggle up Silver hits a couple excellent kicks and Frightmare comes in with a fantastic neckbreaker. Race tries to tag Hype but he’s asleep on the apron. Frightmare knees Race hard in the face and then knocks Hype off the apron just for spite. Silver nails a great looking missile dropkick on Race, but misses a frog splash which allows Race to hit a glancing superkick. Race tags another corner as Silver rolls out of the ring to recover, and Amasis comes in against Calhoun. Calhoun tries to toss Amasis out of the ring, but Worker catches him on his back and pushes him back in a skin the cat type movement, and Amasis gracefully maneuvers in him air to DDT Calhoun, very nice looking spot. Frightmare rushes back in and starts mauling Amasis though, so Amasis cuts his losses in the ring and instead dives out onto Condron & Calhoun at ringside. Frightmare goes out to throw Calhoun back into the ring, but Condron punches out Frightmare on the floor. Silver goes up to the top rope to try to finish off a dazed Calhoun, but the Troll intercepts him and holds onto his leg. Silver fights him off with ease, but when he jumps at Calhoun he has recovered enough to counter into a huge Samoan Drop. Calhoun goes for the pin, but Condron yanks him off! Condron hits a sweet looking snap DDT, and takes the pin for himself.

---Silver Ant & Frightmare eliminated by Kevin Condron & Lucas Calhoun in 11:15---

Condron is very proud of himself, but his pride is short lived as he eats a hard forearm from Worker and then a stiff knee to the jaw from Amasis. They batter Condron around the ring for a bit, but when Worker tries to pin him the Troll grabs him by the leg. Bryce tries to get the Troll out of there, but the distraction allows Calhoun to pick up the big Worker Ant and destroy him with an impressive over the shoulder facebuster. Once again Condron pulls Calhoun off the pin and takes the glory for himself.

---Amasis & Worker Ant eliminated by Kevin Condron & Lucas Calhoun in 12:28---

Condron is again extremely pleased with himself, and he gets the Troll to roll him an energy drink in a can. He wants to hit Race with it but Bryce stops him, and puts the can in the corner. Race feeds it to Hype, and Hype wakes up! He comes in and tosses Condron around! They grab Calhoun and hit a CRAZY double dropkick that sandwiching his head right between then, and then Hype hits an impressive Hyperwheel (spinning backbreaker) on Condron. Race hits Condron with a superkick to follow up, then rolls him up tightly for the win. Condron is bleeding just a tiny bit from the nose after the match, and he’s very worried about his face as they head to the back.

The Winner: N_R_G (Hype Rockwell & Race Jackson) in 14:01

The Verdict: This was a blast to open the show, an eclectic mix of talent to be sure but this match was popping with moments of great chemistry, both expected and not. Silver & Frightmare particularly stand out as in ring aces, and they shouldered a lot of the best in ring work until they were eliminated. The Condron/Calhoun dynamic was also very interesting, and I must praise Calhoun for his improvement as he is currently looking pretty good, as opposed to last year when it was at times a chore to watch him. The character change is drastic, but it seems to have done him good and should give him some shtick to work with as he continues to further improve his in ring game. Condron is Condron, fantastic in terms of character and being in a multi-man match covers up the few flaws he is still ironing out of his ring work. NRG is still not one of my favorite teams, but if this match was a way to get Hype Rockwell to shed some of his shtick and participate more I’m all for that as I find him much more fun to watch than Race Jackson. I’m not wild about NRG picking up the point here, but still the match was such a fun mix of styles and great looking action and I couldn’t help enjoying the heck out of it. Really kicked the crowd into gear too, these 4way tags that CHIKARA does are almost always a blast.

Awesomeness Rating: ****¼

Dasher’s Dugout (Heidi Lovelace, Icarus, Mr Touchdown, & Dasher Hatfield) vs. United Nations (Juan Francisco de Coronado, Proletariat Boar of Moldova, Mr Azerbaijan, & Prakash Sabar) – Challenge of the Immortals Match

The Players: On the one side you’ve got Dasher’s Dugout, a collection of some of the top talent in CHIKARA. There’s former Grand Champion Icarus, who turned his back on years of immature heel tactics and became the driving force behind the CHIKARA comeback last year. There’s the former Campeonatos de Parejas (tag champs) the Throwbacks, Dasher Hatfield and Mr Touchdown, a sports themed team (baseball and football, respectively). And you’ve got a woman not seen in CHIKARA for several months as she toured in Japan with joshi fed Stardom, and current reigning Young Lions Cup Champion, and one of my personal favorites going right now I might add, Heidi Lovelace.

On the other you have Juan Francisco de Coronado, the pompous, diminutive Ecuadoran aristocrat with delusions of grandeur, and his motley crew of eastern European goons with a vague DX homage/rip-off vibe to them. Prakash Sabar particularly fits this mold, billed as a wrestler formerly from Pakistan (an “Ex-Pakistani”, if you will) who mimics X Pac and sports a mask with a Waltman-esque tongue protruding from it. He’s also joined by Mr Azerbaijan (or Mr Az, again if you will), who is multiple time sexiest man winner in the country of Azerbaijan (except for the year of the coal mining strike), and the animal themed Proletariat Boar of Moldova.

Now considering the past accomplishments of each team, you might expect this to be a slaughter for the faces, but don’t be fooled! Juan may be pompous and delusional but he’s also quite crafty, and his team has the advantage of having much more history working together so the chemistry will be in their favor. It should be an interesting mix either way, so let’s get to it!

The Match: The UN is out first, and when Juan finally makes it to the ring (his long entrances may or may not be a subtle nod to DX leader Triple H), he takes the microphone for one of his lengthy speeches (what did I just say??). As always, his promo comes with Spanish subtitles for the sake of his legions of fans in Ecuador. He proclaims his team as the best in CHIKARA and though the “United Staters” don’t know it, they are also the best in all of wrestling. He criticizes Gavin Loudspeaker, who mistakenly mentioned this as a trios match, and declares the match will in fact be wrestled under the Ecuadoran metric system as a 4.372 vs. 4.372 man match. Seems legit, right?

The crowd pops big for Dasher’s team, especially welcoming Heidi back after her lengthy absence! I’m extremely happy to see her myself, she is quite the favorite of mine. Meanwhile, for reasons I cannot begin to fathom, Icarus has styled his hair into little schoolgirl pigtails. Icarus might be a slightly weird guy, folks.

Heidi starts off and she’s eager to fight, but the Boar is bored with her (PUNS!!) and prefers to fight someone else. While the Boar has his guard down, however, Heidi yanks on his tail, hits a headbutt, follows up with a top rope flying armdrag, and then fires off a satellite headscissors that sends the Boar out to the floor! That’ll teach him, you best not look past Heidi Lovelace or she will MESS YOU UP. Prakash tries to jump Heidi but she takes control of him, and tags in Dasher for some truly beautiful arm drags, I’m not sure anyone anywhere has a better basic armdrag than Dasher Hatfield. Dasher tosses Prakash out with a slightly weird looking corner spot, and Juan goes down to the floor to yell at him. Dasher ain’t got time for that though, and he hits a great looking baseball slide that takes out both men. We are then treated to an oddly long shot of the commentary table, for reasons that are not clear to me. Eyes on the action, people!

Icarus jumps in next and is met by Mr Azerbaijan, who gains a brief advantage and lowers his shoulder straps to flex for the crowd. Icarus nails him with a chop though, and he quickly pulls the straps back up for protection. Juan tries to turn the advantage back to the favor of the UN, but Icarus lands on his feet off a double suplex attempt and tags in Touchdown, who flies off the top rope with a double shoulder block. Touchdown zeroes in on Juan but receives a fierce eye rake for his trouble. He stays on top of Touchdown briefly, but then gets floored by a jumping leg lariat which Touchdown also combines with a pinning combination for a very close two, nice sequence there. They got back and forth for a bit, but when Juan goes up top Touchdown leaps up and gives him a huge armdrag variation all the way down to the mat. Juan starts to get very frustrated and yells at his team to get into the ring, but when they do the Dugout team also gets in, and they line up in an American football formation and bowl over the UN!

Touchdown stacks the whole team up in the corner and starts hitting shoulder thrusts to each but, but Juan counters the last one with a hard lariat. Icarus doesn’t let the advantage lie for long, and starts cracking him with big chops to break it up. Juan jumps up and down from the pain, but lures Icarus in to the unfriendly corner and then the UN gangs up on Icarus and starts isolating him from his corner. Azerbaijan hits a very nice looking release suplex that sends Icarus flying, and then the UN does a big combo spot that ends in a wheelbarrow-Codebreaker type maneuver. Touchdown jumps in to save Icarus from further punishment, but they isolate him in turn and end up hitting him with the same big combo, with the added bonus of a neckbreaker from Prakash on the end of it. Dasher stops the pin but ends up suffering the same fate and even the same big combo shortly afterwards, and the UN just keeps chaining more moves on to it because this time it ends with the not at all small Boar doing a top rope elbow drop that looks very impressive. Last but not least they get Heidi all alone and try to move in for the kill, but Heidi starts fighting all of them at once! She is on a roll at first but gets caught by a nasty pop up powerslam from the Boar. They try their big combo one last time, but this time Heidi counters out of it and leaps over to tag a recovered Icarus back in!

Icarus cleans house and obliterates Prakash with a great Michinoku Driver, then starts tossing the Boar around with some nice looking rolling suplexes. The UN tries to break up his suplex attempts, but the Dugout comes in as well and everyone is trying to suplex each other at the same time! It’s SUPLEX CITY!! The UN bails on the attempt when they can’t gain the advantage, and instead they knock the male members of the Dugout out of the ring. They try once more to isolate Heidi but she starts cleaning house on all of them with some excellent strikes and such. It seems like she might beat them singlehandedly, but at the last second the Boar tears through her with a BOAR (think “GORE”) and Heidi ragdolls (she’s such an ace at selling, it’s unreal). It’s too much for the Young Lions Cup Champion, and she is down for the three count at last.

The Winner: The United Nations (Juan, Boar, Azerbaijan, & Prakash) in 16:35

The Verdict: I liked this a lot when I saw it, but writing out the structure helped me appreciate even more how this match was carefully crafted to make everyone look good. Heidi especially was a standout on her team as a nice reintroduction to someone who hasn’t been around in almost 6 months, and the way the match was structured helped remind people of just how awesome Heidi in even though she took the fall in the end (which also helped remind her that she is the best seller in wrestling this side of Sami Zayn). It also really helped the UN I think, individually they couldn’t get any advantage but as soon as they started working together and hitting combo moves they actually looked extremely threatening. It’s been a pleasure to watch Juan’s three goons go from guaranteed losers, as they were last year, to this year being a moderately successful trio who have a strong chance to win when they play to their strengths. Juan himself is always a pleasure, I’d love to see him mix it up one on one against anyone on the Dugout team so I hope this leads to more. Apart from truly excellent structure and storytelling, the action was very enjoyable, putting it on even footing with the first match for slightly different reasons. This show is really starting out well, I can’t wait to see what more they have to offer at one of their bigger shows of the year.

Awesomeness Rating: ****¼

That should hold us over for today mizfan fans, but don’t worry, there is much more to come in the next few days! And what about after this show? I’m torn between moving right into the June shows and taking another foray into different territory, but stay tuned and all will become clear. Speaking of making things clear, who is ready for some ANSWERS???

Dasher Hatfield and Mr Touchdown do share brotherly love, and Dasher does give Touchdown the kind of advice an uncle might give at times, but in truth they are in fact step cousins in law, and what bond could possibly be stronger than that?


Both of our most loyal commentators (seriously, love you guys) took a stab at this one and both got it right! This doesn’t change their race very much, but isn’t it nice to be right?

Subho – 15 Points
Rayhagan1 – 13 Points
Kingzak13 – 5 Points
MI_Fan – 3 Points
Mr Chop – 1 Point
Zzzorf – 1 Point

Maybe another day of QUESTIONS will shake things up??

Stump the CF!

Like the Osirian Portal, the Throwbacks also have a third member in the past. What was their name and sport?

A. Chad Whiskerton, Golf Pro
B. Sugar Dunkerton, Basketball Star
C. Cal Bashington, Hockey Ace

Until tomorrow, mizfan fans!

F2F attack zone!

Rayman – The only thing which kept me from putting that final quarter star on the match is that I never truly believed Remington had a chance to win. It’s the one and only downfall of the reverence and respect CHIKARA applies to its titles, it’s almost unheard of for a title to change hands on the very first defense. If I give it a rewatch in a year or two with less emphasis on “what will happen” and more on appreciating the pure genius of the structure and psychology, I may inch it into that final rating. Remington is an absolute beast for his size though, pound for pound he is really incredible. You’re right that Claudio is well built but he is SO much stronger than he looks, it really reminds me of the same kind of thing. Ultramantis has indeed been around consistently since day 1, but you’ll have to wait for the answer!

Sub Mariner – See, the thing that gives me pause is that CHIKARA pretty much NEVER does the whole “OMG this is suddenly a really real shoot, you guys” (something we’re going to talk about today!), so for them to create a situation where it looks like they went “off script” would be massively out of character for the promotion. I DO think they covered it well though, and you’ll be glad to know they booked Kingston vs. Jaka in a singles match for the very next event to follow up on it! Glad you dug Kinston/Wolverine, I was rather proud of that one myself, and since CHIKARA is such a comic book influenced promotion already… :)

It’s already high on my personal MOTY list, easily top 5 for CHIKARA and I think top 10 worldwide (of what I’ve seen, at least).

I’ve not yet caught Remington in ROH but I have no doubt that I will do so and some point!

Zakington – Steen is quite the beast, isn’t he? Thanks for the read, mate!


And now, for something completely different…


Mizfan fans, I think you all know me as a pretty positive person, and what’s more some of you might know that I’m a regular watcher and general fan of Impact Wrestling. To be sure, now the most common thing to be nowadays, but that’s neither here nor there. The point is, I’ve watched TNA for the past two years and I’ve been mostly entertained and engaged with what I’ve seen actually on the screen, even while hearing news of backstage issues, lousy TV deals, and financial strain. Has everything been perfect? Far from it, the debacle of Tito Ortiz and his “August 1 Warning” will haunt me for the rest of my life, but the good stuff has always been more than good enough to keep me coming back, and make no mistake that’s still true today.

And yet…

Lately, while the good has been as good as ever, the bad stuff that comes along with TNA wrestling has truly been testing my patience. Now don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a declaration that TNA is bad, in fact they currently house many of my favorite characters and have produced many of my favorite matches of the year, but I’ve been feeling the need to point out some of the things that I feel are going wrong, and perhaps vent just a little because a few of these things are really getting under my skin.

SO, without further ado, let’s dive right into something that’s really grinding my gears…


First of all, let me bring up to speed anyone who isn’t aware of this particular currently running storyline. First, let’s meet our players:


James Storm – Having been on the TNA roster since day 1, James Storm has long portrayed slight variations of a “cowboy” character, a reliable if fairly plain gimmick that has served him well. However, in early 2014 Storm began to present some more malicious tendencies than he had in the past, and over time his character has darkened to the point where he has gathered various lost midcarders to himself and dubbed them “The Revolution”, serving as their charismatic veteran leader. This was a positive change in my eyes, as Storm’s character prior to this change was that of a guy who drank and bellowed every word of every promo he cut and that was pretty much it, so this seemed to have a bit more depth to it.

Magnus – Hired by TNA in 2009, Magnus has for several years been one of the more promising young talents in the company. He seemed to be coming into his own when he turned heel to win the TNA Championship in late 2013, but the reign produced mixed results with some criticizing Magnus for falling victim to the heel trope of appearing weak as a champion, usually retaining his title through interference or nefarious means. Personally I thought it was a bit Flair-esque, but regardless after a decent run he dropped the title and slid from the main event scene. He is also the real life fiancé of female wrestler Mickie James, and returned to the face side of the equation when he defended her from the threats of his former friend, the vicious Bram, and has played to the role quite well, particularly during the UK tour in front of his home country.

Mickie James – After ending a high profile run in WWE, Mickie James worked extensively for TNA from 2010 through 2013 before departing the company. After some light work in the independent scene, Mickie took some time away to have a baby with Magnus, aw, wrestler babies. She returned recently to confront Bram after he betrayed and attacked Magnus in a storyline, and stood by her fiancé as he took his revenge.

Having set the stage, let me paint you a picture of how this crazy thing went down…

Near the end of the Magnus/Bram feud, Bram had cornered Mickie James in a situation where Magnus was unable to help her. Instead of her fiancé, she was rescued by none other than James Storm, who seemed to be showing more of his old cowboy side with very little of his darker nature on display. When asked about it, Storm admitted that though they had rarely interacted on screen he does consider Mickie a friend, in part due to their shared “country” background (even having worked together on Mickie’s real life music career), and furthermore was raised to believe a woman should not be threatened so he took action on the spur of the moment. Mickie was thankful for Storm’s help, as was Magnus though he also seemed wary of Storm from the start since he had been around during Storm’s darker phase, and Mickie had not.

After the conclusion of the Bram feud, Mickie James announced her retirement from wrestling to focus on her family life, only to be interrupted by the friendly version of James Storm, who encouraged her not to retire and to wrestle at least one more match. After Storm drummed up enthusiastic crowd response for the idea, Mickie agreed that she would consider staying on. Over the next several weeks Storm would continue to shower Mickie with attention and encouragement to pursue her career dreams, and though he put on an extremely friendly face throughout these interactions when he was seen apart from Mickie he would revert to his darker state. Magnus became very uncomfortable with the entire situation, especially when Storm began to mention the child Mickie and he had recently had. Storm even tried to give Mickie and the baby gifts, and eventually Magnus felt the entire situation was out of hand and attacked Storm when he refused to back off. Mickie was not happy with the action of Magnus, taking Storm’s friendliness and gifts at face value, and with Storm’s encouragement on the June 3rd edition of Impact she traveled to Nashville to meet with producers about her music career, another interest Mickie had been pursuing frequently in recent years.

In a scene that I found very creepy and effective, Mickie arrived at the studio to find it empty except for Storm, who assured her multiple times that the others were “coming soon”. Over the course of the meeting, which grew more and more uncomfortable as Mickie, Storm, and the cameraman sat alone, Storm hinted at and finally stated outright that he believed Mickie should leave Magnus and join him, both personally and as part of the Revolution stable. Mickie outright refused him and told him if that was the purpose behind all of his actions and gifts, that he should just forget about the whole thing. After what I found to be a particularly nice bit of subtle acting from Storm, whose eyes seemed to go dead at the response, he snapped back to his friendly smiles and told Mickie that he had misunderstood the signals he received from her and if she was not interested he would not push the matter. Mickie decided to reschedule her meeting and leave, and agreed to allow Storm to walk her out of the building.


All of this, all this stuff that I have just talked about, was fine, in fact I’d go so far as to say that a lot of it was really good, it was subtle storytelling with character nuance and seemingly a long term goal, most obviously to give Magnus and Storm a hot, relatable issue to feud over, but also ideally to find a way to make further use of the considerable talents of Mickie James for either a short or long term in ring prospect. All good, that’s the kind of underrated storytelling I’ve come to expect from TNA.

But before that show was over, it would all go terribly, horribly, unsalvageable wrong.

Storm & Mickie exit the studio, and the camera man who had been following them is mysteriously nowhere to be found. TNA usually makes a point to actually acknowledge their camera man, so this is a bit odd but wrestling cameramen are always a bit ghostly so that’s not a deal breaker. Instead we are watching footage from what appeared to be a security cam. How did this footage get to Impact? Again, it’s not an uncommon wrestling convention, so let’s try to roll with it. Storm and Mickie are walking by what seems to be a… train station? Did Mickie come here by train? Is the studio a part time train station? Ok, I don’t know what studios are like in Nashville, so maybe this is… normal? What’s happening now? James Storm steals Mickie James phone, and he… pushes her… onto… the train tracks…


Uh oh. Sound the alarms, this thing is getting off the tracks (no pun intended).

Mickie screams after being pushed, then falls off-screen and doesn’t make a single sound for the rest of the segment. It’s not really clear why, did she hit her head and get knocked out? Was the Revolution waiting there to kidnap her? Is she dead? Storm chuckles and says that it’s a long way down, which doesn’t clear up anything because I’m pretty sure it’s like four feet at most. Or is this a special Nashville “extra deep” trainyard? I have no idea, but it’s about to get worse.

Storm uses the phone to call someone, whom he calls “Nick”. This is meant to mean Nick Aldis, the “shoot name” of Mangus.

I will lose my mind about this particular fact in due time, but moving right along.

“Nick,” Storm drawls. “It’s good ol’ Uncle James. Calling to let you know Mickie won’t be making it home for dinner. Heheheh…”

So, at this point, Storm is clearly meaning to either kill or kidnap Mickie James. Honestly, I’m praying hard for kidnap at this point.

Oh wait, what’s that noise? It’s the noise of an oncoming train about to enter the station.

Yup, James Storm is trying to murder Mickie James with a train.

James Storm walks away. End scene.

…

That’s it, there isn’t anymore. Is Mickie James dead? I assume so, because she was about 30 seconds from being run over and was apparently too incapacitated to even make a sound.

Is anyone concerned that we just witnessed attempted murder? Nope, we immediately cut to commercial and when we come back Madison Rayne is in the ring complaining that she doesn’t get enough TV time. Madison, a person just DIED, do you think your problem can wait for a second?

But as far as I can tell, nobody even mentions the scene again for the rest of the night. So long Mickie, hope you had a nice life!

But don’t you fret, dear readers, because it turns out Mickie is alive and well, because the Impact Wrestling website posts that Magnus called the police and Mickie James was rescued and is not hurt, although she is shaken up. They also condemn the “borderline criminal” actions of James Storm.

Ok, so let’s examine this. I’m sort of afraid to, but I’ve started down this road and now I can’t stop.

So first of all Mickie James is fine, apparently. She fell “a long way” and was incapacitated enough to go completely silent upon smashing into the ground, but she’s completely ok, so… I guess no harm done? But she’s shaken up, because apparently getting nudged off a ledge is enough to make a +10 year ring veteran too upset to do anything. Maybe it’s because she’s a mother now or something…? Nobody has really gotten into it at any point, so let’s not hold our breath.

More impressive, I think, is the fact that Nashville has police that can teleport! Because despite Magnus not being informed of his wife’s danger until the impending train was well within earshot, he had time enough to call the police in a completely different state and direct them to the exact location to rescue his wife, who don’t forget was apparently unconscious but also totally unhurt. Not only must these police have been able to teleport to the scene, but I think they must also be able to read minds or sense danger or something. Does Clark Kent work in Nashville PD? Did he hear the danger with his super hearing and fly faster than a speeding bullet to scoop Mickie up? We are left to assume this must be the case, based on the facts provided.


But I think it all pales when you look at the fact that after all this, including on screen attempted murder, the actions of James Storm are labeled as “borderline criminal”. That’s it. Try to murder someone with a train, oh boy, watch you! You’re really close to breaking the law! What would they have done if she died, rapped him on the knuckles? Maybe some community service?

Now please don’t get me wrong here mizfan fans, I’ve got no problem suspending my disbelief as far as humanely possible if I’m presented something that makes sense within context. Heck, I watched Deucalion “kill” a whole bunch of people in the 2014 CHIKARA season, but because everything was internally consistent I was able to get completely engaged with the storyline and enjoyed the heck out it. But TNA doesn’t present their product that way, everything is supposed to be more or less grounded in reality. Even mildly cartoonish stuff like Joseph Park and Abyss not knowing they are the same person, or Samuel Shaw stalking Christy Hemme, is well within the bounds of wrestling convention.

But get this, remember when I said that immediately after the attempted murder segment we came back to Madison Rayne in the ring? In that very same segment, she was attacked by Velvet Sky, who is currently fired within the storylines of TNA. Within this segment, Velvet Sky was arrested because she was regarded as a fan attacking a wrestler.

So, in terms of consistency, if you jump the rail and touch a wrestler then off you go, but if you try to murder someone with a train, well shame on you but you’re good to go.

It makes me want to tear my hair out of my head.

And honestly, out of all of this, I really think the worst, the absolute worst thing, is that Storm keeps calling Magnus “Nick” even as the storyline continues to progress (last week’s Impact included Storm pretending he had kidnapped Magnus’ baby and superkicking a baby off the stage, which I expect will cause Snitsky to sue for copyright infringement).

“Shoot names”, this is called, as “real names”.


As far as I can tell, the reason to use “shoot names” is to attempt to say to the fans “Hey look! This storyline is so really real you guys! It’s so real, these guys aren’t even using those ‘fake’ wrestling names anymore! That’s how really super real this is, you guys!”.

The problem that always arises, at least in my mind, is that it is also saying “Hey! Look at how fake wrestling is! All of wrestling is fake, you guys! Except this story, this story is really real, and these guys really hate each other for really reals! Now go back to watching that fake stuff, but don’t forget this story is the really real one!!”.

It makes me want to stick my head into a garbage disposal, because that would be less painful that thinking about this trope and how it continues to pop up every now and then in the wrestling world.

Seriously though, what on earth is the inference we are supposed to take away? So within the storyline, “Magnus” is really just Nick Aldis, but “Ethan Carter III” is really Dixie Carter’s nephew and not Michael Hutter? Some wrestling stories are more “real” than others? And it just so happens that the “really real” story is the same one that includes attempted murder and punting baby carriages?

It feels like TNA wants to have it both ways, they want certain storylines to be taken at face value with any weird things hand waived away as storyline convention, and other storylines are “really real”, so much so that the 4th wall cannot even contain them. Of course, it all gets especially strained to the breaking point when they try to have both things in the EXACT SAME STORY!!!

The more I think about it, the angrier I get. This is the same company that has quietly telling some of my favorite stories in wrestling over the past few years, from the reign of Bobby Roode to the dream of Austin Aries, from the turn of Bully Ray to the fall of Dixie Carter, and not to the beautifully crafted relationship between EC3 and Rockstar Spud. To see something like this happen makes me wonder just what the hell is suddenly happening backstage that we could drive this far into left field so fast… more on that later, but for the time being let me just say that this particular angle has become very rough to watch, and as I am writing this before having a chance to see this most recent episode of Impact I can only hope things have not gotten worse.

The sad thing is, Magnus and James Storm could have surely had a perfectly entertaining feud, maybe even a great one if they hadn’t taken a swerve into looneyville. Missed opportunity, and really for no good reason.

Sigh…

Ok, that’s all the ranting I’m going to do about that for now, so let me end this on a positive note with a little section I like to call:




What’s awesome in TNA right now? I can answer that with two letters and one number, it’s EC3. In over 10 years of watching wrestling, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen a better booked, more organic rise to the top than the one we have seen for Ethan Carter III. From his great character to his masterful adlibs, from his ability to work the crowd to the nuanced relationships he has built with so many members of the roster, it has been an absolute joy to watch and I can only hope we are now on the very brink of seeing this very deserving young talent ascend to the top of the mountain for the very first time. EC3 is one of the best things in wrestling right now bar none, and I would sit through a train running over half the Impact roster for a chance to see him shine.

And speaking of shining (and rough segues!), I will shine some light on the latest STCF with some ANSWER TIME!!

Back in the world of CHIKARA, it’s an interesting footnote that though Mike Quackenbush and Ultramantis Black have both been in the promotion since day 1, it is actually Kevin Steen of the three who has had two shots at the CHIKARA Grand Championship, first at 2012’s “Hot Off The Griddle” and again at 2013’s “While The Dawn Is Breaking”. Mike Quackenbush only fought for the title once, losing to Eddie Kingston in the match that began the first ever reign with the belt, and amazingly Ultramantis Black has never had an opportunity to challenge… yet!


We had three lovely guesses this time around, and it was Ray and Zak who got this one right! Zak continues to lock up third place, while Ray closes the gap towards first. Just a few of these left, so keep it coming!

Subho – 17 Points
Rayhagan1 – 16 Points
Kingzak13 – 6 Points
MI_Fan – 3 Points
Mr Chop – 1 Point
Zzzorf – 1 Point

And now for today’s QUESTION TIME!!

Stump the CF!

We talked about some lame attempts at murder today, but in 2014 CHIKARA had a whole slew of “deaths” that were perfectly presented and executed (no pun intended) within the context of the CHIKARAverse. What was the final bodycount of that season’s “big bad”, Deucalion?

A. 6
B. 8
C. 10

More sins to recount tomorrow! Until then, mizfan fans…

F2F, ye olde home stretchers!

Newt – Your description of the Magnus/Storm feud might be my favorite bit of feedback I’ve received this whole month. The inclusion of silencing mice is surely the most well thought out part of the whole segment.

Stable break ups are actually one of my favorite stories when done well, but there’s got to be a reason!

Your totally non-spoiler-ific explanation of Angle’s title reign is much appreciated… still, it didn’t have to be such a pain in the ass getting to this point!

Your point about the humor of stupidity in wrestling is not without merit, but still I just expect more from a company that has made positive strides towards NOT being stupid in recent years. Oh well!

Seriously Newt, fantastic to hear from you. Always a pleasure!

Sub Mariner – Really, I’ve got no issues with Jarrett making a short term appearance, or even a longer one as long as he is bringing some GFW guys with him. Jarrett by himself I can take or leave (and I can just plain leave his wife), but I really love what he was done so far with GFW in bringing the extended wrestling world closer together.

If those vignettes are for Gail Kim, I will tear a chunk of my hair out. I was hoping it was a Havok comeback, or even someone new, but if it’s just Gail damn Kim wearing face paint or something I will be an unhappy mizfan.

I love Jessie Godderz probably more than anyone on god’s green earth besides his mother, but I just don’t know where the hell he can go right now. Honestly though, I wouldn’t even be that mad if he just blew into the X Division, won the title, and challenged all the little guys to come take it from him. Could really help him continue to grow as a performer.

The Drew/Low Ki thing had so much potential, but now it seems Low Ki is gone… MORE SADNESS!!!

Haha, Pitmasters of Shit indeed.

As for Magnus and Storm, from what I understand they are just being released from their locked-in contracts and will still be used on and off as needed? It’s probably honestly the best thing for TNA to do in terms of restructuring, and honestly I never saw either man as a home-run guy for the company anyway so I’m not too bothered about it. If it negatively affects the locker room though, that could be a cause for concern.

Thanks for the feed my man, it’s greatly appreciated as always.

Rayman – I trust Russo about as far as I can throw him.

Murph – See, I totally see where you’re coming from, but I just feel like the timing is poor because there’s not much for any of them to do. A slower build towards a more meaningful build up would have sat much better with me, and for what it’s worth I think Jessie is exactly the kind of guy who could massively benefit from some kind of TV Championship, or even bust into the X Division as mentioned above. Anything to keep them from falling into limbo, which really seems like an immediate danger to me at this point. I hope you’re right though, I’m a fan of all three guys and I’d hate to see them wasted.

Thanks for the read and feed my man, good to see you around these parts!


Alright mizfan fans, ready for the start of the final three course meal of this month long feeding frenzy? Well unbuckle your belts, because you’ve all been good and it’s time for dessert, and I swear this mini-intro isn’t awkwardly getting away from me at all…

As you may have surmised from the title, we’re going to spend a little time talking about one of my favorite things in wrestling, character, and specifically a few of my favorite examples of characters that are going strong right now. The first man up to the plate may surprise you, but I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention…


Well known as a great hand in the ring for the past several, well, decades (feeling old yet?), Chavo has still not usually been the man who gets the wrestling world talking. I don’t know if people are buzzing about him now, exactly, but in my opinion they damn well should be.

As part of the Guerrero family and most commonly associated with his legendary uncle Eddie (RIP), the philosophy of lying, cheating, and stealing has following Chavo through most of his work over the years. Back in WWE, he was occasionally called upon for a run as a valiant and sympathetic face, but he was almost always quick to betray his friends and side with anyone he thought might improve his position, often his Aunt Vickie but really just about anyone would do for Chavo (remember Bam Neely? I do!). After leaving WWE, he spent a few notable years in TNA where he mostly stuck more or less to the side of the angels, though he never missed an opportunity to take a quick shortcut or coach his frequent partner Hernandez on little tricks he might use to get ahead.

Eventually he would depart, only to show up in good time in the Temple of Lucha Underground. Now this is where things begin to get especially interesting.

The thing that has really set Lucha Underground apart, both in the way they have handled Chavo during his time there and as a company as a whole, is how smart they have been about the presentation of his character. In a tactic that used to be common, albeit in a simpler form, but nowadays is nearly unheard of, Lucha Underground took character work that had been established in completely different promotions and not only keep it consistent, but actually built on it in an intelligent and well thought out manner.


Don’t believe me? Let’s review Chavo’s history in (and out of) the company:

Chavo began his tenure in Lucha Underground as a proud representative of the legendary Guerrero family, but early on was defeated by a member of another legendary lucha family, Blue Demon Jr. It has been well established over the years that Chavo is often jealous and insecure about his place in the Guerrero family legacy, seen in particular during his feuds with both his uncle Eddie and with Rey Mysterio in the mid 00s. In complete keeping with these character traits established years before, Chavo took the loss very poorly, and ended up savagely attacking Blue Demon Jr and sending him out of the Temple with an injury.

But was insecurity Chavo’s only reason for attacking Blue Demon Jr? Don’t count on it, because in Lucha Underground everything is steeped in meaning and complex motivation. Chavo was spurred on to action by Dario Cueto, the plotting authority figure of the Temple. This is more than just your standard heel plotting though. Chavo has long proven himself to be highly susceptible to this kind of influence, a character trait firmly established during Chavo’s run under Edge & Vickie’s “Familia” stable in which he was often manipulated into inserting himself into situations where he would quickly get over his head, especially by Edge who was well known for his plotting ability himself.

Heck, even the METHOD of attack Chavo used was steeped in his character history! Chavo came out with steel chair in hand to seemingly defend Blue Demon from an assault from Mil Muertes, only to turn the weapon upon the very man he was pretending to help. You may recognize this as the exact modus operandi that Chavo used in 2006 to cost Rey Mysterio the World Heavyweight Championship. Granted, it’s not an uncommon strategy for a heel but when you start to look at all the pieces together, it seems incredibly clear that someone is paying extremely close attention to character history, and Chavo is only one of the more noticeable examples.


Not convinced? Keep reading…

Who else felt the wrath of Chavo’s insecurity? A former ally in the Temple, female wrestler Sexy Star did. Now at first glance it could just seem that Chavo struck at Sexy simply because she tried to interfere in his attack, but I think if you dig into the history of Chavo he might have another very compelling reason to turn his attack on Star. In mid 2004, Chavo unexpectedly lost the Cruiserweight Championship to Jacqueline, whom you may remember was in fact a woman herself. The entire sequence was a profound embarrassment to Chavo’s character, and sent him down an unfortunate road that would eventually not only see his own father win the title instead of him, but also suffer extreme humiliation at the hands of their enemies. The entire incident took place over a decade before the events of Lucha Underground, and yet it’s not at all hard to connect the spectre of this dark time in Chavo’s career with his intense desire to lash out against Sexy Star for attempting to compete on an even playing field with men.

It wouldn’t be long before Chavo began to pay for his crimes in ways he was utterly unprepared to deal with, which you will again note is a long supported historical facet of Chavo’s character. One only needs to look back to the consequences he would eventually suffer for helping Edge send the Undertaker into temporary retirement (or “banishment” as it was oddly put) in 2008 for one example of that. Chavo began to receive threats that the entire lucha community back in Mexico had turned against him for his violent attack on a legend such as Blue Demon Jr, and finding himself completely without allies he fled the Temple for an extended absence, trying to escape the consequences for what he had done. While Chavo has not always had the option to flee when left without allies, it’s not at all difficult to look back and see that without someone to offer him backup Chavo has often been a bit hapless at handling his own business. The unbearable disaster of Chavo’s losing feud against Hornswoggle should probably be mentioned as little as possible, but it is an extreme example that still supports the larger point here.


My favorite aspect of this story came next, when Chavo returned unexpectedly in one of the film-like scenes that are often shown in between matches in Lucha Underground. Chavo reappeared to offer his assistance to El Dragon Azteca, a mysterious veteran wrestler who had been training a young woman known as “Black Lotus” to avenge the death of her parents, which has been linked to Temple ruler Dario Cueto. Impatient with her training, Lotus travelled to the Temple before she was ready, and because Azteca is unable or unwilling to come to the Temple himself for as of yet unrevealed reasons, he was unable to prevent her departure. Chavo came to Azteca to offer his help in following Lotus to the Temple and keeping her alive, in exchange for Azteca using his influence to erase his debt with the lucha community in Mexico. Making this kind of deal to save himself is completely within keeping of Chavo’s character, though he also claimed he was doing it to prevent the danger of retaliation from spreading to his family.

HOWEVER, and this is truly the best of the best part, Chavo immediately went to the office of Dario Cueto and ratted out the entire operation! Always willing to lie, cheat, and steal towards getting his own way, Chavo once again revealed his true stripes and agreed to betray Lotus to Dario in exchange for full protection from retribution out of Mexico. One backstage attack later, Chavo’s half of the deal was completed and he was granted a pair of bodyguards guaranteed to protect him from attack.


I don’t know if I can even fully capture in words just how beautiful that twist was, but it felt so absolutely true to the entire history of the Chavo character that it was almost an absolute necessity, and yet I didn’t see it coming either. Such is the heightened abilities of Lucha Underground’s completely innovative and masterful brand of storytelling. In one fell swoop Chavo regained his stature as a Guerrero by lying and cheating his way back to success, gained a source of constant support and backup for any of his dealings in the Temple, thumbed his nose at any who would deny him his place in the lucha community, and even in an added bonus got to betray yet another female wrestler trying to make it in the world of men. It tied so many things together so fantastically, you would think that the writers of LU were the same people who had been writing Chavo’s character for years.

But I think the most impressive thing about all this, and the point that I really want to drive home, is that even though these writers did not create Chavo’s character for themselves, they not only respect and honor the entire history of the character but they also put him in situations where he can react according to his character and further build upon it. For so many years we have seen the wrestling world fall victim to the poisonous mentality that if something was not created within that promotion, it must be torn down and started from scratch. Arguably just as bad is the alternate theory that if a character worked in one promotion is should be repeated exactly in another, with no creative build or added depth. Lucha Underground is part of a growing movement to incorporate ALL wrestling, not just one promotion but ALL of them, into a single continuity where everything can not only coexist but actually thrive.

It’s a fantastic thing to watch as it gains speed over multiple platforms, and Chavo is just one of the more notable forerunners of this ideal. There are more, and there will be more still, if there’s any sense of artistic integrity left in the wrestling world (and by god, there is!).

Chavo may never be the champion of the world in any literal sense, but he is still Chavo, a complex, well developed character with personality to spare, from one week to the next, and I thank god for this thing that he is now part of.

Alright mizfan fans, that will do it for our first character study, and I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did. And just in case you didn’t, perhaps I can please you with some ANSWERS!!!

Though Russo denies his involvement, the fans did indeed chant “Fire Russo” during such infamous match types as the Electrified Cage and the Last Rites Match. While the Reverse Battle Royal has been universally panned, there were no recorded instances of the chant that I could find during its few incarnations. I admit, I didn’t exactly watch each match to find out for sure, but I hope you’ll spare me the pain on this one?


We had three guessers for this one (nice to see you Murph!), but only our two front runners got this one correct. We are down to the wire gentlemen!

Subho – 19 Points
Rayhagan1 – 18 Points
Kingzak13 – 7 Points
MI_Fan – 3 Points
Mr Chop – 1 Point
Zzzorf – 1 Point

Ready for more? It’s QUESTION TIME AGAIN!!!

Stump the CF!

In addition to Lucha Underground and TNA, Chavo has also appeared for another one of my favorite companies in recent years. Which of these did he make an in ring appearance for?

A. CHIKARA
B. House of Hardcore
C. PWG

Until tomorrow, mizfan fans!

WWE Live Show Experience

So American Mikey P spent his Saturday night with a bunch of little kids, geeks, and complete mongrels at the Garden in Boston last night watching another great show put on by VKM. The WWE does not disappoint live audiences…ever. Me and my bros got tickets to SD back in February however since we live in God’s country the show was canceled due to an epic winter of like 200 feet of snow, you see they still make hard Americans up here in the Northeast. So the WWE changed our tickets to a live event and I am here to tell you this event was probably far better than that shitty B show SD would have been.

Arrived to North Station about an hour before the show for some grub and a couple beers before heading in, it is always a must to get a bit of a buzz on before these shows since you will be spending the next 3.5 hours with humans at the level of maybe monkeys. Right away the first thing you will notice is the abundance of John Cena gear on almost every guy, the next thing you will notice is, and this is no lie… Nikki fucking Bella merchandise. That couple is like the fucking Kennedys for christ sake. Almost every girl in there, some even young adults is dressed like Nikki. The Bella army is a legit thing. And that right there is the difference between the geeks and VKM. He knows what sells and you don’t. He doesn’t care if Nikki is average on the mic or adults boo Cena, they make him money and that is why they win. Simple really. You can’t even get close to the merchandise booths at these show, they are like 15 deep, this company is a fucking money machine at this point. AMP tip better off buying from the website which always has specials and for some reason T-shirts are 10 bucks cheaper even with shipping.

The arena for a live show is quite simply classically plain and I mean that in the best way possible. No fancy ramp or banners anywhere. Just a black curtain with small pyros, cement runway, old school fence barricades, and just a man sitting in a chair with a bell. Matches are wrestled with just the spotlight on the ring and the crowd is in dark. It is old school wrestling at its best and so is the show. I saw an atomic drop, a back rake, and a low blow last night. When is the last time you say any of that never mind the interaction with the fans throughout the show. Fucking beautiful really.

The first match had Mark Henry vs Ryback. Henry was masterful taunting the crowd and going outside the ring picking fights with geeks. Guy wanted no part of me, actually American Mikey P was cheering for him. I don’t support the Big Guy despite the crowd loving every second of him. I will say this, Ryback hit a fucking splash off the top rope from well more than half way across the ring to win the match. Insane for a guy that big. Henry then was so “out of it” after the 1-2-3 he was getting helped back by the ref holding his hands in victory just to tease the crowd.

Next was Kofi vs Neville. The New Day music got a decent pop, though should be noted Kofi is a local guy. The New Day chant from what I heard is starting to get mixed reactions now. Some chant sucks some chant rocks. Me and my brothers were chanting rocks. And people think Boston is racist. In fact we were cheering on both guys. Watching Neville in person is highly recommended. His speed is unreal and seeing the Red Arrow up close is truly unbelievable. The whole crowd stands up for it and all you see is the whites in peoples eyes from pure awe.

From there we got the Mega Powers vs Harper and Heath Slater. Very odd pairing, but the OMB is great on the mic and a talent that is very underused as far as I’m concerned, so I was happy to see and hear from him. The crowd was into the Mega Powers I was not so I got a $9.50 coors light. Last Bs game I went to they were $7.50 wtf happened? Anyway American Mikey P got to jack off to Real American so that is always nice.

Y2J was a fun surprise as he teamed up with Ziggler to face Barrett and Shemus. Crowd went bonkers for Jericho. Then a “we want Lana” chant broke out, so Ziggler grabbed a mic and said, “so do I”. AMP instantly became a full blown Shemus fan for what he did next. Shames took a mic and ripped into Boston. You see Boston is full of these D-bags that pretend they are Irish yet they are all born in America. That makes you fucking American not Irish. Learn what a nationality is. So working in bars for most of my 20s we would get these Irish kids that would come over in the Summer on school break or holiday what ever you Euros call it. They would work at the bars with us, and everyone would go up to these poor kids and tell them they were Irish too. Well, these real Irish kids would just laugh in their face. That is what Shemus did last night. He told all the fans in Boston to take a good look at what a real Irishman looks like and called them a bunch of fake paddies. Fucking hilarious. Anyway Y2J pinned Barrett with a great back and forth sequence. ending in a code breaker. He did have the Walls of Jericho on which got a crazy pop at one point. AKA the Boston Crab. After Y2J did the old Hogan point to the crowd to get a pop from each section but he did it more like an orchestra conductor which even had Ziggler being amazed.

If this is any idea of what the next Cena vs Owen’s match is going to be, you people are in for a treat. These two brought the house down. Should of been the main event. Had big match feel all over it. Owen’s def had his fans, because most people from Boston are fat slobs like him. But like always Cena wins everyone over. In fact the Cena fans in Boston are just smarter. Instead of chanting Lets go Cena they began chanting Cena really fast so the geeks couldn't add suck. One Cena hater near me actually said, “they are ruining the chant”. I’m telling you the Cena suck thing is just something to do, like the wave at a soccer game. I had one little girl dressed as Nikki in front of me cheering on Cena while I had a boy about her age cheering Owens, he is clearly going to be a future geek here on LOP talking about how LU is looking for their next TV deal on POP TV in 15 years. I digress, these two were going at it throughout the match and their parents were eating it up. Owens hit a low blow during a punch off to end the match, makes sense not to give away the ending. So Cena came back and hit an FU to make everyone happy and I flashed the three amigos sign in the little geeks face followed by a wink. And his semi hot mom fist pumped me for it. Cena hit a Canadian destroyer again, so I am told that is the name of that move. But be prepared for this spot in July I dont know how to use spoiler here so don't read the next line in blue haha hope that works, I'm pathetic....


Cena will go for a top rope leg drop move he does and Owen's will catch him into a sitting power bomb. Its fucking awesome.

I also want to note here there was a group of about 4 men with downs syndrome behind us in their 50s maybe 60s. I’m not sure if they get free tix for this from the garden or what and I am even more unsure of who was supervising them, but that is not the point I’m making. These four were having a blast and absolutely hysterical. I’m not making fun of them when I say that either. For example when Cena was losing this one guy would continuously say “What are you doing Johnny” or when Reigns and Wyatt ended in count out he yelled “Get these two out of the ring”. Guy treated this like he was watching a Bruins game, it was awesome and made the show that much better. That is what its all about pretending its real.

Bo Dallas came out and did a wonderful job at trolling the Boston crowd to only be interupted by The Rock! Place went absolutely wild. The Rock snagged a Cena hat off some kid pretending to throw it on his way down. He then cut a great promo about how Bo hasn't reached puberty and never had pie. Bo did hold his own out there as he retorted back, “Oh I’ve had pie” and anyone that has seen Dallas’ wife knows he's had damn good pie. Rock obviously ends this with a “Boston Strong Bitch” Rock Bottom then shrugs his shoulders and lays a “People’s Elbow” for good measure. Awesome moment for any type of show. I swear to god every show I go to in Boston Rock shows up.

Intermission for some reason...very old school.


Next up was a three way divas match between Paige, Nikki and Naomi. The Bellas were way over and so was Paige. I have been a huge fan of Paige in the looks department but holy shit Nikki up close is absolutely stunning. I think Rob made note of this too at the last PPV in Baltimore. Her body is unreal fellas. Nikki also played a face for this match. The match was solid, the girls were given a good amount of time and the crowd was able to eat it up. Hats off to the Bellas who are great at interacting with little kids around the ring, especially Bri.

Roman Reigns squared up with Bray Wyatt which as I said ended in a count out. The match was VERY physical. And Reigns is ALOT bigger in person, his arms are huge. The rumors of him not being “big” enough are way off. No boo birds in the house for Reigns though, crowd was very much behind him. His entrance is very cool in person. Seems like he takes his sweet time for house shows too so the crowd can all fist pump him. The ladies love this guy.

We were treated to a cage match for the main event featuring Rollins and Ambrose. I’m going to get shit for this but, after seeing Y2J, the Rock, and Cena this did not feel like a main event. I love Rollins but when you have bigger stars he should not be main eventing. I know the WWE needs to go forward and if so I get that but be prepared for the main event to be lack luster in atmosphere if Cena and Lesnar are lower on the card. It is why Bret Hart could not be champ until Hogan officially left. This match was good and fun just like every other match but it wasn't main event caliber. I’m not sure that has more to do with Ambrose or Rollins. Because again Ambrose gets a hug pop then wrestles in complete silence for 20 minutes. It’s a very odd thing to say the least. In fact at one point a New Day Clap chant broke out. That is not a good sign. Anyway, Bray came down to cost Ambrose the match and then Reigns came down for the save to send everyone home happy. Rollins is VERY good.

Great show, had a blast highly recommend the live events to people. Tickets are cheap, hell second row was 90$ last night, cant beat that. You can bitch and moan about the TV storylines but the live events deliver all the time. Honestly I think its the best show on a consistent basis anywhere on earth in any genre. Maybe playoff hockey beats them. Oh and obviously a Springsteen concert.


Till next time folks,

Love Your Country
Respect Your Parents
And Tip You Bartenders

American Mikey P

What's up CF? I put this out there last year, and a couple of good suggestions came from it. So I put it out here again for you all. We're half-way through 2015, and there have been a lot of great column written in the CF. What would you like to see different this year? Any categories that need to be added? Any that need to go away?

The 2015 Columns to Date list is current, and June will be added in just a couple of days, so there is plenty out there for reference as well.

Think about it, use this thread to discuss.

THE ONE ROOM SCHOOLHOUSE

We left off at segment #4 for the weeks of September 24, October 1 and October 8. In part 2, we’ll look back on Segments #5 through 8, 8 being the Main Event segment.

SEGMENT #5

Segment	September 24	October 1	October 8
#5	Match #4: Magnus vs. Mr. Anderson	Wolves promo, joined by Team 3D and Hardys	Bobby Roode vs. MVP & Kenny King

Segment #5 lasts about 7 minutes or more for each of the 3 episodes of Impact Wrestling. The importance of this segment during this time varies from week to week. On September 24th, we have a match of relevancy between Magnus and Mr. Anderson, more or less to remind us that these two guys are still on the roster and that they like to fight. In a very even match, Anderson finally wins with the Mic Check. The next few weeks delve into more important matters, connected to major stories such as the tag team championship feud and Bobby Roode’s desire for a World Heavyweight Championship rematch against Lashley.
During the former, the Wolves take about 8 minutes to pick their stipulation for the tiebreaker of the Tag Team series. This is partly because Team 3D and the Hardys interrupt them to remind the Wolves of their inferiority. Imagine how it must have felt for the Wolves. They know they’re a great tag team but they are truly the underdogs. Team 3D proclaim that they’ll be in every wrestling hall of fame and the Hardys compare themselves to Greek or Roman gods. That’d be disheartening to hear for most teams but the Wolves respond with their stipulation: Full Metal Mayhem (chairs, ladders, tables and all weapons permitted). That’s the way you build up interest in a match. Keep it simple by bringing out the competitors, with limited time, to talk up how bad they are and how they’re gonna rip their opponents apart--- respect optional.

About the handicap match between Roode, MVP & King, my takeaway is that MVP is so good at being a heel. Before the match starts, he tells Roode he can still get out of the match, demonstrating arrogance and manipulation. He also, at one point, jaws at Roode on the outside, saying “these people don’t care about you”! That’s the way you get people angry with you, identifying their weaknesses and attacking. MVP ends up chewing on a defeat after being pinned by Roode. In his place, we get an appearance from Lashley, who ensures Roode only wins by DQ and that he suffers the pain of a fresh spear.

SEGMENT #6

Segment	September 24	October 1	October 8
#6	Video Packages for Team 3D HOF Induction & Knockouts Champ. Match	Anderson and Melendez backstage + Manik vs. Shark Boy	ECIII and Rockstar Spud in-ring promo

Over 3 weeks, I’m inclined to state that Segment #6 is the weakest of the show. For September 24th, video packages are relied upon to fill the time. Not that the video packages are without merit, they do perform an important duty in acknowledging the Team 3D Hall of Fame induction which will take place at Bound For Glory. They also promote an upcoming Knockouts Championship match, which I always say is a big positive for TNA. They do well to promote championship matches ahead of time, even if it’s usually 7 days out from the match. For October 1st, the Revolution gets a little attention and the match serves as a means to promote Manik as a threat to TNA wrestling. He defeats the notable Shark Boy by seemingly following James Storm’s directions, much like a pitching coach will dictate what a pitcher throws to particular batters.

Finally, the highlight of segment #6, and is it any surprise, takes place between ECIII and Rockstar Spud. ECIII proclaims his undefeated record, gaining victory after victory after victory after victory…you get the idea. He asks Spud to prove his loyalty and friendship. Spud tries to demonstrate how well he knows ECIII but it’s to no avail. ECIII continues to blame Spud for what happened to Aunt Dixie (table slam courtesy of Bully Ray), and calls him a failure and a loser. This is the segment which sparks the feud between the two; Spud finally breaks from the months of crap he’s taken from ECIII and punches Carter. His reward? Being fired as Carter’s assistant. The fan support truly takes on a new level of meaning for Spud as it is plain to see ECIII acting the part of a bully. Spud, as the victim and underdog, is instantly relatable and it’s exciting to see where this might lead after Bound For Glory.

SEGMENT #7

Segment	September 24	October 1	October 8
#7	Match #5: Abyss vs. Sam Shaw	MVP vs. Mr. Anderson + Bobby Roode promo	Video promo for Tag Series, BFG + Angle books Roode into #1 Contender’s Match

The lead-in segment to Impact’s Main Event varies wildly week to week, according to the booking of the main event. Naturally, it provides somewhat of a break to the viewer, so as not to tire their energy and excitement before the main event match. Only on the October 1st Impact was this segment used wisely to further the MVP/Melendez feud and to allow Bobby Roode to challenge Lashley for another championship match. The reason they were able to do so much in the segment is because the Knockouts Championship Match was the main event that night, and it was not a long match, due to Gail Kim’s injury. The October 8th Impact uses the time to promote the final Full Metal Mayhem match of the Tag Team Series, and then to set up Roode as a participant in the October 15th Impact’s #1 Contender’s Match, much to the chagrin of MVP who had been trying to block Roode’s participation. This stemmed from what I just mentioned about Roode’s promo on October 1st where he asks Lashley for one more match. Interesting note: Lashley is about to shake Roode’s hand to agree on one more match, but it’s MVP, the “leader” who declines on behalf of his team. This is a pivotal moment in the relationship between Lashley and MVP, where, very clearly, we can see that the two are not on the same page. Those who are familiar with the storyline in 2015 will recognize how important that moment is in acknowledging where the division begins between these two heavyweights.

There’s not much to say about the Abyss/Shaw match on September 24th. The rules for the match aren’t well explained and we end up with a match that seemingly has no issue with wrestling inside and outside of the ring. Abyss gets the win, as he should, for being a much more dominant and powerful wrestler than the unstable and, at this point, unthreatening, Sam Shaw.

MAIN EVENT

Segment	September 24	October 1	October 8
Main Event	Gold Rush Final : Aries vs. MVP vs. Anderson vs. Tajiri vs. Abyss	TNA Knockouts Championship: Havok vs. Gail Kim (c)	TNA World Tag Team Championship Match, Full Metal Mayhem, Wolves (c) vs. Team 3D vs. Hardys

Amongst these three main events, the World Tag Team Championship deciding match takes the cake as a must-eat, er, I mean, must-see match for the 2014 year in Impact Wrestling. The match clocked in at 20 minutes and could’ve easily been a PPV or FFV main event. For those who still aren’t convinced, here’s why the other two matches come nowhere close to the same level of importance. While the Gold Rush Final from September 24th provided for some decent wrestling entertainment, Aries’ victory ultimately led nowhere. He faced Samoa Joe for the X-Division Championship the following week and lost. It was another instance where Aries proves how capable he is in the ring but not enough to have any lasting power as a champion, at least not in 2014. The Knockouts Championship match is notable for putting over the destructive nature of Havok who works down Gail Kim’s arm for a few minutes with holds and hits, ending with a hammerlock slam and a choke slam for the victory. Havok positions herself as the new champion, who looks very good in defeating a veteran like Gail Kim and who presents as a nasty villainess who will be hard to take down.

The Wolves get the nod from two of the greatest Tag Teams in wrestling history in this Full Metal Mayhem series-deciding match. I feel it wouldn’t have been right for this match to finish any other way. The Wolves are the best team going and the most likely to continue with the company for the next few years, while Team 3D is Hall of Fame bound and the Hardys’ tenure is unknown but likely not extending too far into the future. As Subho said in his TNA Year in Review, you’d really do yourself a favour by watching this match. Some of my favourite moments from this match are:

- Matt Hardy suplexed Eddie Edwards off of the top rope, while he was sitting on Bully Ray.
- Jeff sets up a table between steel stairs and the ring, preparing to leg drop Bully Ray’s head. Instead, Bully moves and Jeff crushes the table…and himself.
- the slapfest between Davey, Matt and Bully, while each of them was at the top of their respective giant ladders in the ring
- “this is awesome” chants begin when Davey pushes Jeff, who’s on top of the tall ladder, into a splash on Bully Ray through the tables on the outside.
- To get the win, Davey Richards powerbombs Matt Hardy off of the tall ladder into a table in the ring.

Those three teams put everything on the line in this match, taking plenty of bumps and falls in their attempts to win. No team leaves this match unscathed and no team leaves this match without honour. The series between Team 3D, the Hardys and the Wolves was a dream series come true, and TNA is lucky that they were able to make it happen. Also, going into Bound For Glory and beyond, the Full Metal Mayhem match provided plenty of momentum for TNA moving into the final chapter of the 2014 season. With their move from Spike TV only weeks away and a special PPV in Japan which would be largely removed from the Impact storylines, TNA fans weren’t sure what to expect. Thankfully, all of the politics and business did not interfere with TNA Impact’s ability to provide meaningful and entertaining wrestling matches. And isn’t that the bottom line for wrestling fans?

Come back to class later this week as we explore the episodes of Impact Wrestling post Bound For Glory.

***BRRRRINNGGGG!

What’s up guys, Kingzak is back in action with what may be my favorite idea ever, as far as column writing goes. As a king, I am constantly looking to expand my kingdom, currently I have a small kingdom in video games, omelets and sumo suit wrestling, however some nay-sayers out there would argue that doesn’t make me a king, they argue that it only makes me a baron, at most maybe a lord. So I need a kingdom or I can’t call myself the king anymore. I could fight people for their kingdoms but that is its own challenge, it would be easier to take something unowned as my kingdom.

My name is Zak and I am now you King of the RNG.

Some of you may wonder what this means, well this means I take domain over Random Number Generators. At this point some of you may be asking “what the hell does any of this have to do with wrestling”, my answer, shut your whiny mouth you lowly peasants, I am getting to that.

So how can I incorporate Random Number Generators into wrestling, well it is quite simply. I know a site with a lot of data on wrestling cards over many years, so I am going to use them to find a random match to watch, review and share with you guys. And when I say random I mean random, it can be any year, any company, any show and any wrestler. So enough talk let’s begin

I will be using this site to generate my number, feel free to visit if you want.

https://www.random.org/

Now let’s get our date, I only need a day and month, the site I find the shows on will have list of what happened in what year. However to make things easier for me to find I am only going back to 1985, that is 30 years, 10,957 days (Including leap years) and when you consider this includes every show that has ever been shown on TV, Pay-Per-View or live streamed, that is plenty of wrestling entertainment to get through.

Our month is 7 which mean July.
Our Day is 28th

So what happened on the 28th of July in past years? According to my site 62 total wrestling cards have happened on the 28th of July. Time to find out what show I pick, I ended up with ROH War of the Wire II, I didn’t know this was a thing, I assume this was a Ring of Honor PPV back in 2005. They had 8 matches on card, so now to find which match I watch. And we have the number 5 so we will be watching the 5th match, David Crist & Jake Crist vs. Alex Payne & Pelle Primeau, I don’t know who any of those people are, but fuck it let’s find this match.

God dammit, I just seen what was one match on from this one, it was Austin Aries vs. Bryan Danielson vs. Delirious vs. Homicide in a Four Corner Survival Match, which sounds likes it was really good. Fuck me, I just looked and apparently it was a dark tag team match, so that means we are back to square one, let’s find us some more numbers.

Okay so this time we have October the 23rd, two days after my birthday, small world. Actually I don’t think that is the correct use of that phrase, but still. We have 41 shows going all the way back to 93, quite a wide range, we end up with NOAH Autumn Navigation '10 - Day 6 Sapporo, Hokkaido, I have no idea what that means but with any luck, it being a fairly recent event will mean we get something to watch. There are seven matches on card and I got the number seven. So we end up with Atsushi Aoki & KENTA vs. Ricky Marvin & Taiji Ishimori, sounds very Japanese doesn’t it. Let’s see if it exists.

Nope. I am starting to hate this idea. I am almost 700 words in and we have no wrestling whatsoever. Let’s give this another go. We have month 5 which is May, and we end up with the 4th, now I am worried about Star Wars nerds invading this column, fuck it, if they show up I’ll just tell them to have Scotty beam them up. That’ll show ’em.

So with the day chosen, we have 39 shows to watch, two of which are WWE PPV’s which means I can easily find those, so fingers crossed. And we have the number 3, which means more NOAH, this time from last year; there had better be some video of it somewhere. Once again there are seven matches. And we have match 2 which is Super Crazy vs. Zack Sabre Jr. now to find out the all-important question, does it exist online?

Okay so on searching I did find actual wrestling match videos as results so we are heading in the right direction, but unfortunately I couldn’t find this match, I found ones from the PPV and I found ones involving them on different dates, but this specific match is apparently non-existent, or I am too retarded to find it. Either way back to the drawing board.

So our new date is the 8th month, which is August, and the day is the 26th. We have two SummerSlams on the list, for god sake let me get one of them, I want to actually watch something. Ok we have an episode of Raw from 2002, there are six matches, ok we get match 3 which is Jeff Hardy vs Chris Jericho. For the love of god let me find this.



HOLY SHIT, IT ACTUALLY EXISTS. Finally I can watch and review a match for the series, thank you DailyMotion you beautiful bastard.
Here is the match for anyone wants to watch with me, click here http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xvj...e-garden_sport

And we kick off with a montage of champions, Brock Lesnar, RVD and Christian and Lance Storm, then we come to the arena with Jeff’s entrance in progress, he slides in and Jericho is already in the ring, great way to start the series, jobber entrances FTW. Jeff does his typical ring pose but gets taken out by Jericho as he heads to the other corner and this one is underway. And internet explorer has stopped. Fuck my Life.

Okay back to where we were. And Jericho is in control, a suplex from Jericho and he is really being quite pissy with Jeff, I should look up what was going on for him at this time, later though. Jericho begins choking Jeff on the ropes and Lawler calls Jeff an “Ass clown” I don’t wanna know. My god I don’t know whether it is my computer or the video, or the video provider but the lag is real guys, and it is fucking me as we speak.

Jeff ducks a clothesline, runs the ropes and takes Jericho down, Jeff takes control but is soon whipped to the corner which leads to a headscissor which I think looks quite cool and my video crashed, fuck everything, my computer has been doing this shit all day, and now the webpage isn’t responding, that’s great.

And we are back and Jeff immediately eats a clothesline from Jericho. Jericho back in control with a choke on the middle ropes, Jericho smacks Jeff around for a bit until he whips Jeff across the ring and goes for a dropkick, Jeff stops short and grabs the legs, I really wanted him to go for the Walls of Jericho then, but instead Jeff launches him over the ropes. I quite liked that move. Jeff goes up top and nails something, I can’t tell whether it was a diving clothesline or crossbody, but both people are down on the outside so I predict an ad break now. And the videos crashed again, why does god hate me?

No ad break however, Jeff slides to the other side of the ring and runs the barricade before leaping at Jericho and I am not sure whether he hit that right or not, Jericho looked like he turned it into some sort of toss midway through. I was right as Jericho is back up in a few seconds, rolling Jeff back into the ring and now focusing on the back. Jericho takes Jeff’s… tail? I don’t know, what the hell is that he has hanging from his pockets. Anyway he takes it and chokes Jeff with it before wiping himself and throwing it away.

Jericho puts Jeff in a submission that I really wish I knew the name of, and wants the ref to ask Jeff if he quits, someone calls someone a jackoff, I couldn’t tell who but it made me smirk. Jeff fights out and goes for an attack but is cut off with a knee to the gut followed by a dropkick. Jericho covers but only gets a two, first attempt at a pinfall this series, hooray for milestones.

And the video crashed again. I am getting the feeling it is either DailyMotion is a turd, or my graphics card is. Either way I soldier on, Jericho with another few elbow drops and another 2 count. Jericho leans Hardy on the ropes shouts “I’M KING OF THE WORLD DAMMIT” and then goes to attack hardy but he moves and Jericho bounces of the ropes like (Insert something bouncy here).

And then the video player crashes, ok fuck this, I am going to bed, hopefully my computer will be more cooperative in the morning. Until then let’s put an advert here or something, as to what I am advertising, who knows, but I will be back in the morning and hopefully we can finish the match.

---

Ok I’m back, I am well rested I had some cereal, let’s do this shit. Actually thus far it hasn’t been that bad, the match isn’t anything to write home about but it is a pretty decent midcard match. So let’s pick up where we left off, somewhere at the 5 and a half minute mark.

Jeff tries to take control but misses a dropkick which leads to him taking a senton, I do believe, and then another two count before a quick advert break. We come back quickly and Jericho is just smacking hardy round the ring and doing a little dance in-between, I think that is some sort of reference to Ric Flair who apparently beat him recently.

Jeff tries to comeback but gets a maneuver for his troubles, another two count from Jericho. I am just going to say that Jeff looks weird without facepaint on at this point. Jericho with a submission trying to get Jeff to give up. Jeff fights out and whips Jericho to a corner, Jericho springboards off right into a dropkick, which looked quite cool.

Both men are down as we get some replays off that move. Both men are back up at 6 and Jeff takes control, he gets whipped to the corner and Whisper in the Wind from Jeff, I love that move, not sure why but something about it makes me like it. Jeff is in control, he nails a jawbreaker before hitting the signature legdrop to the crotch.

Jeff covers but only gets a two count, Jeff goes for a sunset flip but Jericho rolls through and begins turning it into the walls, I accidentally turn the video full screen and Jeff pushes Jericho off and turns it into a rollup. Only a two though. Jericho gets to the corner and Jeff goes on the attack but gets a boot to the face for his troubles, followed by Jericho’s signature one handed bulldog. I think it is signature anyway; he does it a lot so it should be signature.

Jericho goes for the lionsault but Jeff gets his knees up, Jeff with a unique pin in which he legdrops Chris’ legs while they are flipped over his head, but it only gets a two and a half. What a maneuver from Hardy, according to JR it is a reverse mule kick, and I see no reason not to believe him on that. Jeff goes up top, I think he is looking to swanton, he hits it but it looks like Jericho may have been a bit close to the corner, a lot of Jeff seemed to hit the canvas instead of Jericho.

Jeff with the cover and he gets to 2.9 before Jericho gets the ropes, Jeff goes for a huricanrana but Chris turns it into the walls, Internet explorer stops working, well at least we got a good 5 minutes of uninterrupted action. Jericho has the walls locked in but Jeff grabs the ropes, Jericho won’t let go and gets disqualified which is immediately followed by Jeff tapping out.

Jericho still won’t release the hold and referees swarm the ring, Jericho still won’t release the hold and Sargent Slaughter is the one to eventually force him off, what the hell is he doing in 2002. Jericho eventually leaves the ring and passes right by a “Fozzy played my prom” sign, nice. Jericho leaves the ring and we cut to a backstage segment with Brock Lesnar, looking as big and terrifying as ever. So I think that is a good place to leave it.

End of match thoughts: this was a decent match, I think the DQ ending didn’t make anyone look weak as it tends to do, Jericho gets his heat back after a loss to Ric Flair and Jeff looks tough for whatever he may be doing at that point. The match in all wasn’t too bad, if it had to rate it I would give it a 2.5 stars, the video for it gets a 1.5 for the poor start but that is irrelevant, I actually watched a match, and that is what matters.

---

Ok onto another match, I think we have enough space for another match as long as I don’t have to go through a ton of non-existent videos first. I am glad this is the columning equivalent of a pilot episode right now, I am sure this will get better the more we watch, and the more I write this, I should move onto the next match before this gets to rambly.

So let’s get a day, firstly we have a month of 1 which is January, the cruel irony is going to be me wanting to keep this short but ending up with a Royal Rumble. We got the day of 13, so the 13 of January. TNA Genesis happened on this day in 2013 so that would be easiest to find. We end up with show 15, which is NOAH The First Navigation '07 - Day 5 Kokura-kita, Kokura, so I probably won’t be finding this, but the RNG has given me a task, and that is to find match 5, Takashi Sugiura & Takuma Sano & Yoshihiro Takayama vs. Go Shiozaki & Tamon Honda & Tsuyoshi Kikuchi.

Okay I have got to stop letting NOAH matches in, that is three searches for them with no actual matches found. Does anyone here watch NOAH, and if so, how the fuck do you do it? Anyway let’s find a new match. We start with the month of 7, which is July, and the day of 16, so 16th of July, I was about to ask whether that is Battleground but I checked and it isn’t a Sunday this year. Anyway let’s move on, there are a lot of match cards from that day, however with live shows and NOAH removed we end with 30, and the winning number is 30, which is WWF Wrestling Challenge Taping #47, and I looked and all the matches on card are less than 5 minutes, if I can find it then I am set. I need to find match number 2, which is Jake Roberts vs. Rick Renslow. And searching for this is teaching me how the WWE Network may be a valid investment now.

Ok last try, we have month 8 which once again is August. We have the 22nd, so 22nd August, and viable card equal 18, so not many, but I have high hopes based on the fact it is largely WWE and PPV stuff. We have our card, it is card 6, which is an NXT taping, taping 65 for those wondering, no idea if that means it has a showing or not, it only has three matches and the RNG gives us the main event, match 3. And there is a video for it, but it can only be viewed in America, fucking racists.

So with that I reach the end, I have no idea what to do with this column, it is barely a column, but it is a concept in progress, so it is up to you guys, would you like to see me try this again, or is it a dumb idea, if you want me to keep it then what should I change, other than finally get around to getting a WWE Network subscription because I can only assume that will mean I at least have access to all WWE, WCW and ECW stuff.

So let me know what you think, I am off to go drown my miseries in vodka, I hope you enjoyed this column or if nothing else, enjoyed my misery (If you’re a bit of a sadist), and if you have any thoughts on ways to improve this feel free to let me know. But enough from me, I hope you guys enjoyed this column and I hope to see you next time.

G'day one and all and welcome to the return of the 2014 Column Series of the Year and the greatest collaborative effort to have ever graced the pages of Lords of Pain.

Last year after watching the ABCs of Death, a film anthology of 26 directors who were each given a letter of the alphabet upon which they were to make a short film about death based upon a word of their choice which started with that letter, I envisioned a massive collaborative undertaking entitled The ABCs of Wrestling. In this series I gathered 26 (eventually 29) writers whom I each gave a letter too with the purpose of them to write a creative column based on a word of their choice which starts with that letter. While I figured the final effort would be a nice little series I was not prepared for just how epic it would become. The efforts that the 29 writers put out went above and beyond my expectations and made the series a massive success. For any of you who haven't read te series yet or would like to go back and reminisce on the greatness it was you can do so here http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...s-of-Wrestling.

That series however was only the Alpha Edition. Now one year on it is time to do it once again, this time with the Beta Edition. Once again I have gathered 26 writers from all over Lords of Pain and given them each a letter of the alphabet to choose a word from to base a creative column about wrestling on. However this year there is a slight difference, they are banned from using the word that was used the year before.

Over the next 26 days I will post 1 entry at a time for your reading pleasure. However today I will not be posting one of these columns. As a bonus for you all, and so you can have a chance to go back and read last years series if you wish, I will post for you a special entry, somewhat of an entree, to give you all a taste of what's too come. So sit back and enjoy The ABCs of Wrestling - Beta Edition.

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A is for Andre, with the largest of hands,
B is for Bruno, the best in the lands.
C if for Cactus, Mankind and Dude Love,
D is for Dynamite, flying headbuts from above.
E is for Earthquake, a big man to slam,
F is for Faaroq, Damn! Damn! Damn!
G is for Gangrel, a vampire who drank blood,
H is for Hunter, once wrestled in the mud.
I is for Ivory, censorship was her right,
J is for Jarrett, brought his guitar to the fight.
K is for Kurt, the Olympic gold medalist,
L is for Lita, the hot female aerialist.
M is for McMahon, the owner of the show,
N is for Nunzio, he needed to grow.
O is for Owen, he left us too soon,
P is for Patera, retired Gorilla Monsoon.
Q is for Queen, Sensational Sherri, not Sharmell,
R is for Rock, his cooking, can you smell?
S is for Shawn, the Heartbreak Kid, Mr Wrestlemania,
T is for Ted, the millionaire suffered from megalomania.
U is for Umaga, the Samoan Bulldozer,
V is for Valbowski, a bit of a poser.
W is for William, an English Regal is he,
X is for X-Pac, originally known as 1-2-3.
Y is for Yokozuna, he wasn’t really Japanese,
Z is for Ziggler, finishing my wrestler A, B, C’s.

---

Wednesday night's are wrestling. It doesn't matter what your taste preference is, there is a show for it on Hump Day. You've got TNA, RoH, Lucha Underground and NXT, all putting out very uniquely stylized products, and these products amount to 5 hours of wrestling. Correction, five hours of over 100 wrestlers utilizing every second they've been given to try and get noticed.

… On the flip side you could watch the same 40 wrestlers in politically wrapped safety nets recite the same ballads on repeat for 5 hours between Monday Night Raw and Smackdown…

My mind has been made up. I have found the place that fits my stylist interests and that place is nestled in the Robert Rodriguez-iverse, with a layer of grit and post production over-saturation dusting over top it all. Lucha Underground is THE best wrestling product going today, and it's more fun than a hot tub with twins.


As stated in the FIRST EDITION, I've returned to the Lop Boards to take on the task of being the pied piper for Lucha Underground during the Road to Ultima Lucha!

Last week, Drago and Mil Muertes faced off in a battle to determine who the challenger for the Lucha Underground championship at Ultima Lucha would be. While the match was not on par with the universally praised matches between Muertes and Fenix, the dynamic was a hard sell of the Drago character, (which is quickly becoming one of the coolest gimmicks in wrestling) and the continued build of Mil Muertes as a motherfucking monster. Hernandez, who's currently portraying some sort of transporter gimmick on Wednesday nights as he leaps entire states in a matter of seconds from TNA to Lucha Underground, has been ripe pissed off about being in his 40s and costed Drago the match, setting up a match between the two of them this week. This match was fun, not great, but more importantly it sets up a future clash between Mil and Drago. If Mil wins the title at Ultima Lucha, he's going to have a great run defending against the likes of Fenix (YES), Drago, and the man who he'll be battling for the title, Prince Puma.

We can look forward to that all we want, but the road to getting there has a speed bump for our current champion, and that speed bump is tonight. Tonight, Prince Puma, the descendent of Aztec Warrior and potentially is a mythological being according to the official LU site defends his championship against Chavo Guerrero, a man who's a chronic backstabber and will do anything to further himself.

The Competitors


Chavo Guerrero has become a complete satire of his lineage, in the best way possible. Now, before I begin this, I should point out that I am not just slapping a sticker of guarantee on Chavo here because it's Lucha Underground and I love it so much that I am blind to error. With that said, Chavo debuted for Lucha on it's debut episode and has been working behind the scenes as a producer for the show all season. He was the first male to put over Sexy Star on the show, in a feud that legitimized the notion that Lucha Underground would not only promote gender equality but completely forgo gender separation. He's only competed a handful of times, but every time Chavo is on TV, his character completely shines through. While his in-ring credibility has been shattered to the point of comedy due to WWE creative, it's his character that has allowed him to be reborn in Lucha Underground. Chavo has been turn-happy all season, and it's being acknowledged onscreen in such a unique way. Chavo, the lying, cheating, stealing Guerrero, is known throughout Mexico for just that and has amassed many enemies and debts. As a result, he's backstabbing the innocent repay other debts, acting the part of a sly hired gun. It's a brilliant furthering of the Guerrero gimmick that deserves praise.




Of course, Chavo is at the end of the day just Chavo. Prince Puma on the other hand… The current champion has remained silent throughout this season, with his entire background being hyped by Konnan. Konnan has established Puma as a historical figure in Aztec mythology and has guided him to glory over many men. While the first half of this season saw the face champion needing outside assistance and a little bit of luck to get past his numerous opponents, he's begun to win cleanly in big matches. Prince Puma may the wrestler with the biggest push in the Temple, but we still know very little about his character.

Why It Matters

We'll be completely honest here. There is no way that Chavo Guerrero is going to be champion, not going into Ultima Lucha. Unless the main event is going to be an over-booked four-way between Guerrero, Blue Demon, Puma and Muertes, it's just completely illogical for any result besides a Prince Puma win. This is going to matter for different reasons. Up until this point, Prince Puma has had to defend his title in what were strictly even match-ups. Mil Muertes is no singles opponent. Mil Muertes has Catrina and the Disciples of Death in his corner, as well as all the sudsy powers of Hell! Chavo Guerrero gives us light into that situation as he'll be backed by The Crew.

Why It Is Going to be Glorious

Oh, it will be glorious. On paper, Chavo Guerrero vs TAFKA Ricochet is a promising match-up that will mix technical with speed, and Lucha Underground's hyper-active style brings that combination to the limelight perfectly. However, no one would care about Chavo vs Prince Puma without the immense amount of surrounding information that comes with this bout.

Chavo Guerrero comes backed with The Crew, the support of Dario Cueto, and all the under-handed tactics that come with the Guerrero family name. All Prince Puma comes with is a crippled old Konnan. Prince Puma is coming off of an iron man match. Chavo Guerrero is coming off a three on one beating of Blue Demon. The deck has been stacked against Prince Puma.

Tonight, it's Prince Puma vs The World.

Except.

Except there is more to the story than just the surface matchup. Tonight promises to be a furthering of the Black Lotus storyline. Will Blue Demon be present? What about El Dragon Azteca? Chavo Guerrero may have the deck stacked in his favour, but he's created a life where their are enemies waiting around every corner.

Except Dario Cueto has established a fear of Mil Muertes and Catrina controlling his temple. Dario may not want Chavo to be the name that represents him against Mil Muertes at Ultima Lucha. Hell, Dario may have gotten all he needed out of Chavo, and now Chavo is just another loose end.

Except that despite all this, there's a monster deep in the Temple and every passing week the threat that he gets unleashed is more than real.

Expect the unexpected.


Wednesday nights are for worship, and mass is held at the temple.

Holy syph through a straw! Welcome back to the column that’s STILL an open sore on the lips of society - Taste My Rainbow.





Excuse the tardiness, folks. My schedule these days is almost as lax as The Undertaker’s. Speaking of things nearing the brink of death, who swooped in and sucked the life out of this place? The CF is in dire straits at the moment; even more so than Michelle McCool…

Another couple sun tan sessions and Taker’s corpse bride is bound to be cast in the next Tim Burton movie. All kidding aside though, my bad for disappearing last year and that whole nightmare before Christmas debacle. I really dug myself a hole by ditching everybody while putting together the annual Xmas column. An online dating experiment of mine veered the proverbial sleigh off course and subsequently dampened my holiday spirits.



Love comes at a cost however and, for 30 bucks per month, I could put a price tag on love thanks to the wonders of Zoosk. Tinder and Cougar Life were a little too superficial for my tastes so I opted for a site that satiated my grittier pallet. Likewise, I found myself jumping off the shoulders of RAW & SmackDown and piggybacking on NXT instead. With the launch of the WWE Network earlier last year, I now had a weekly ticket to the live broadcast and quickly hopped aboard after watching the inaugural Takeover special.



The wealth of indy talent and production value alone made me a satisfied customer. What really caught my attention though was how differently the women were perceived down at Full Sail as compared to the main roster. Almost as if gender equality existed in professional wrestling! Much like Tupac, I was blown away. Thrilled. Elated. Literally couldn’t contain myself (which led to some awkward mid-match pauses while I choked my Hannibal like a straightjacket). Nothing we need to go into further detail about on a PG site. POINT BEING - I’d discovered all the female companionship a lonely wrestling nerd could ever need.



Disturbing behavior yes but (I’ve got nothing on Shia Labeouf) after several weeks of this, I simply grew more and more attached to these women. Perhaps it had something to do with the Divas Division sinking quicker than the Transformers franchise. Or maybe because I had no stumpy bitch at home preventing me from indulging on the peaches dangling from NXT’s bountiful tree limbs. Whatever the case, I gorged myself on the offerings of Triple H’s pet project. Eventually the farm system began shipping some of them off to greener pastures... Or so they thought.



In typical WWE fashion, the fresh meat were guided into the same pen as the others and dressed down to fit in with the rest of the herd. Vince treats his new Divas like blind sheep and my animal analogies are getting ridiculous but so is this recurring conundrum. Should the women of NXT even have RAW & SmackDown circled as their ultimate destinations? Just so they can be pawns in The Bella’s game of Monopoly? Nah from where I’m sitting, park it in Orlando and get comfortable. You never know what the future holds… which not-so-coincidentally is where WWE’s lapse in crossover booking intersects with my virtual matchmaking ventures.

Online Dating
& Indiscreet
Bandwagoning

The following is not only based on true events but a super awesome television series that FOX shit canned after three seasons. These personal accounts took place over the last calendar year (give or take some selective memory on my part). I‘ll hopefully be posting these entries on a weekly basis throughout the rest of the month. That’s the plan anyway. Vacation looms overhead so no promises.





The Irish Beauty



Ah Kate; the first pit stop on my titillating tour of Zoosk. We met up for coffee at some Starbucks in a neutral town and this girl was a mocha hottie. Better yet, she expresso’d interest in hanging out again which hit me like a caffeine buzz. It isn’t every day you cross paths with a cute ginger who smiles without an ulterior motive (redheads generally wear an angry expression). Kate was a simplistic girl raised in the countryside who loved NASCAR, Blake Shelton, town fairs… your typical redneck hobnobbery. The part about being raised on a farm however alarmed me a tad. I mean my job entails some messy manual labor but that’s a whole different level of swamp nuts. Her sun dried tomato of a father took one glance at my meager frame and probably had to restrain himself from laughing aloud. Or pulling out his shotgun… really not sure which.



Kate was as a go-getter though and kept me on my toes. Unfortunately, I forgot to do the same when she slipped at the bowling alley and busted her ass. Oddly enough, I had plenty of chances to make a move but kept passing on the opportunity. These hands uncharacteristically never left my pockets. She lent me sooooo many openings but I'd close up shop like Sky Mall. Could there be some validity to these stabs at my sexuality? Jesus no (and fuck any of you pricks who gave it a second thought). I guess I saw Kate as more of a beginner’s course to online dating rather than a potential girlfriend. Once Kate realized there were other blips on my radar, she beat feet and I didn’t bother chasing her. A decision I’d later grow to regret.



My relationship with Becky Lynch unfolded much in the same way. Initially, I viewed her as Sasha Banks’ random sidekick; a generic Irish rocker chick and nothing more. Their unlikely alliance reminded me of those oddball pairings from years past. Chris Jericho & Curtis Hughes, Chaz & D‘Lo Brown, Brie & Nikki Bella reconciling with no logical explanation whatsoever, etc. Unaware of Lynch’s extensive background prior to signing with WWE, I foolishly whizzed right by her just like a drunk would a cop car (double entendre?). Sadly, it wasn’t until the ginger’s awesome contribution to the four-way at Takeover: Rival that I woke the fuck up and stopped sleeping on Lynch. I watched her title match against Banks at Unstoppable so many times it nearly gave me insomnia. What workaholics!

Pray with me that Vince doesn’t snooze on this ginger when she receives her promotion. Whether Triple H is campaigning in the old man‘s ear or not, its impossible to nap on Becky’s in-ring abilities (even at VKM’s advanced age). She’s arguably the most technically sound female in NXT today. And if you think Lynch’s work at Full Sail has been impressive, research Becky’s stint in SHIMMER. Her 2 out of 3 Falls Match against Daizee Haze went half an hour with neither woman touching the ropes until the 11-minute mark! That’s absolutely unheard of in this sport (well everywhere except DT Wrestling at least).



Also keep in mind that Lynch has plenty of experience in a managerial role too so introducing her via valet is always a feasible option. Not that either needs the other but imagine Becky in Sheamus’ corner (raises arms to deflect rocks from forming nerd mob). Every top heel benefits from an insurance policy. If the long term plan is to place the WWE World Heavyweight Title on The Great White, having him flanked by Lynch should subdue rioters rather than stoke the flames. After all, Becky credits her fellow Celt for deciding to join WWE which will either change Sheamus’ luck with the diehards or re-aggravate the longstanding resentment aimed at him.



Aw shit on a stick. Only I'd crap out a Becky Lynch column and end it rambling about that inflamed turd hole. My mouth often suffers from the runs. So like a man with an inflated opinion of himself once said...

Who's NXT?

- SkitZ

THE ONE ROOM SCHOOLHOUSE

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to the schoolhouse. For our course on TNA Impact Wrestling in 2014, the amount of material we need to cover can’t be completed in one class, so I’ll be holding another class in this very room in 3 days. The TNA and Wrestle-1 combo brought us to a novel PPV event in Bound For Glory 2014, but the matches of that evening were largely independent of what was happening on Friday night Impact. Let’s take a look at the major and minor stories that filled the two hour timeslot of Impact Wrestling during October 2014.

Major Stories: Roode vs. Lashley, Tag Team Tourney: A Means, Not An End, ECIII’s New Friend Is Not Spud

Minor Stories: Havok’s Knockouts Championship Reign, Revolution’s Search for Members, Bram Is Hardcore

- Bobby Roode soaks in his first moments as the new World Heavyweight Champion as Bobby Lashley looks on, stunned.

MAJOR Story: Roode vs. Lashley

If you’ll recall before Bound For Glory, Roode was clamouring for one more match against Lashley, recognizing how close he had been to getting the win. MVP, Lashley’s de facto manager did not want to see that, perhaps because he knew how much of a threat Bobby Roode was to the TNA World Heavyweight Champion. Director of Wrestling Operations, Kurt Angle, didn’t allow Roode the rematch, but he did allow him a spot in a 4 way Elimination Match, on October 15th’s Impact, to determine the #1 Contender for the World Heavyweight Championship. TNA did well to promote the match during the show, allowing each competitor time to argue why they would be the next winner. Eric Young referenced his previous failure in a multi-man match, promising he’d do better this time. Austin Aries said there would be no luck involved, just skill and that alliances would not be a part of his game plan for a victory.
Roode, Austin Aries, Eric Young and Jeff Hardy fought in a 15 minute match, a match that, if it had been decided on points alone, might have gone to Austin Aries, the perennial best man (never the groom). The big spot of the match was when Aries and Roode super-plexed Young, thanks to the force of one Jeff Hardy who powerbombed the three of them off the top rope. At the 11 minute mark, Hardy and Young make the same error: they go up to the top rope without ensuring their opponents were incapacitated. Facing the same fate as many wrestlers have over the years, their risky decision to go to the top rope ends in their elimination from the match, as Roode and Aries hit their finishers and pin them simultaneously. The next 4 minutes see Roode and Aries evading each other’s finishers, attempting pinfalls and submission moves, as well as 2 discus forearms by Aries. None of it is enough once the Roode Bomb is successfully employed, and Roode wins the match. The night ends in all 4 competitors thanking each other for a good match and, how often do we end a show on such a positive note? Heartwarming and exciting to see that Roode will get his rematch against Lashley.

Two weeks later, on October 29th, the audience is treated to a gem of a championship match, with Kurt Angle acting as special guest referee. The week before, at the contract signing, another step is made by Lashley to distance himself from MVP. He signs on the dotted line after MVP feigns doing so. It’s clear that MVP doesn’t want Lashley to face Roode. While Lashley doesn’t outwardly react to MVP’s insinuations, he may be considering the truth that MVP thinks he can’t beat Roode again. This is how trust breaks down, folks. It all comes down to a lack of communication and an inability to compromise.

In this 18 minute match, wrestling fans receive the following: an end to Lashley’s championship reign, Roode’s second reign as champion, and MVP’s ever-weakening hold on power in Impact Wrestling. Lashley controls most of the match, very aggressively attacking Roode with power moves in hopes of wearing him down. Roode manages to survive this attack and finds a window of opportunity when Lashley accidentally spears guest referee Angle. Roode delivers the Roode Bomb shortly after but has no one counting the pinfall. Brian Hebner comes down to officiate but he’s too late to count to 3. Lashley doesn’t want ANYONE interfering and he takes out Hebner, so now we have no referee. We can only hope that Angle will wake up, and he does, just in time to see Roode catch Lashley off guard with a pinning attempt and there we have it. New TNA Champion! And there’s nothing MVP can do about it, having been banned from ringside. Roode expresses tears of joy and exhaustion, and we have another heart-warming moment to end an episode of Impact. October was good for that kind of thing; November wasn’t as much. It was a competitive match and both wrestlers looked good at the end of it. Lashley lost the match, but he didn’t lose any respect. Roode barely wins but at least shows some cleverness in catching Lashley off guard and Angle counts the 1-2-3 so that there’s no question as to the validity of the official counting the pinfall. It’s a great time to be a Bobby Roode fan, and you have to think that MVP will have plenty to be angry about with Lashley after this.


MAJOR Story: Tag Team Tourney: A Means, Not An End

Starting October 22nd, a tag team tournament to decide the #1 Contender’s to newly-crowned champions, The Wolves, began. For those interested in the summary, here are the results after 2 rounds.

Hardys______________	Hardys______________	Hardys
Bro-Mans
ECIII & Tyrus_________	ECIII & Tyrus
Rockstar Spud & Eric Young
Mr. Anderson & Sgt. Melendez
MVP & Kenny King______	MVP & Kenny King
Gunner & Sam Shaw
Low Ki & Samoa Joe____	Low Ki & Samoa Joe__	Low Ki & Samoa Joe

Naturally, the Hardys find a way to the tournament finals, having just finished an amazing Tag Series with Team 3D and the Wolves. They came oh so very close to already being the champions, and having escaped Full Metal Mayhem injury-free, make their presence felt by defeating the Bro-Mans and ECIII & Tyrus (pinning Tyrus not Carter). Perhaps the surprise of the tournament is how well Low Ki & Samoa Joe did. For not having had much tag experience together, they had a good warmup against the dysfunctional duo of Gunner & Sam Shaw and built upon that success by defeating a top-seeded MVP & Kenny King. For those wrestling fans who have become accustomed to predicting face vs. heel team matches in tournaments, it was not meant to be. Instead, we have a face vs. face final, likely with a little more support going to the Hardys for all the good work they’ve recently done in the squared circle.

The main positive of the tournament is that tag team wrestling continues to get a Major Story focus, something that the Tag Team Series kicked off in August. The secondary positive is that this tournament allowed other stories to continue moving forward, while, at the same time, establishing that an opportunity for TNA gold is something for which to strive, for TNA wrestlers. It would have been easy to pair up wrestlers who had nothing going on, just for the sake of having tournament spots filled. I mean, let’s be real, 4 teams only get 1 match so how important are their spots? TNA tells us they ARE important by using those losses to further pre-existing stories.

Shaw’s new girlfriend, Brittany interferes and costs him and Gunner the match against Low Ki & Samoa Joe. The animosity between Gunner and Shaw continues to grow, fans get to watch Brittany and Shaw make out, and we understand, once more, just how crazy Sam Shaw is. Thanks, but no thanks, Gunner. Shaw didn’t appreciate your help because he is CRAZY. Even the ongoing bullying by King and MVP on Sgt. Chris Melendez was furthered by the tournament because of the first round matchup. Anderson, being quite the patriot, becomes Melendez’s partner and advisor around TNA but it doesn’t get them the win. King wins it for MVP because he pulls on the tights for the pin. Those two guys are feeling insecure knowing that Lashley is making decisions independent of them; their entrance into this tournament is a last ditch effort to save face and get some gold (they’re also pissed off about Roode getting the rematch). Of course, as you see from the above bracket, they don’t even make the finals. Clearly, a new game plan is in order for them but, as we’ll discuss more next class, they’ll have to tie up loose ends with Lashley first.

Now, another team who gains storyline advancement from their inclusion in the Tag Team Tournament is ECIII and his new friend, to whom we will devote a few minutes of discussion.


MAJOR Story: ECIII’s New Friend Is Not Spud

The fallout between ECIII and Rockstar Spud continued at the October 15th Impact when a video was broadcast, post BFG, of Carter bashing Spud and saying he had a replacement for him. He didn’t waste time introducing us to Tyrus, the former Brodus Clay of World Wrestling Entertainment and the new weapon of mass destruction in TNA Impact Wrestling. It was impossible not to remember his name after ECIII said, “Tyrus, Tyrus, Tyrus” over and over during the in-ring promo. ECIII proves why he’s the best wrestler on the mic in TNA when he manages to reference two points of storyline continuity in order to promote his new best friend. He airs a grievance about Team 3D getting into the Hall of Fame for they should not have been accepted due to their hand in hurting his Aunt Dixie. Then, he says the TNA Hall of Fame is a “who’s who” of guys Ethan Carter has defeated during his undefeated streak in TNA. Devon takes issue with this, stating he hasn’t beaten him, but, unfortunately, Bram prevents that match from happening. Instead, we see Tyrus wrestle for the first time in TNA against a hilarious Shark Boy, who is so depressed about wrestling that he’s found in the back eating donuts. There’s a character that could have benefitted from more camera time. Anyways, Tyrus gets the obvious win over Shark Boy, doing push-ups while he pins the guy. Good way to get the new guy over, but he needs more than one win. So, why is all of this important?

The tag team tournament becomes a means for the storyline with Spud to continue. The draw has Spud facing ECIII and Tyrus, forcing Spud to find an opponent for a match that he doesn’t want. This is oriented so that Spud receives more sympathy from the audience and more desire to see him get even with his boss and friend who is treating the guy like a p.o.s. Eric Young joins Spud and motivates him to want to fight. Still, it isn’t until ECIII berates Spud one more time before their match that Spud feels enough anger and resentment to get to fighting. It doesn’t amount to much in the present since Tyrus fights most of the match on behalf of him and his new friend, and he seriously outweighs Spud. In the big picture, this is a significant moment for Spud who realizes that Carter doesn’t want to make amends or resume their friendship. The only way to move forward, for Spud, is to avenge the maltreatment he has received from Carter over the past months. As some of you know, that won’t happen during the 2014 year. In fact, it will get worse for Spud but all that he endures will become fuel for the fire within, for himself and for the fans to support him in his desire for vengeance.


Now, ladies and gentlemen, please take a 5 minute break and do what you need to do... visit the bathroom, get a drink, check your phone, whatever it is and when you come back, we’ll look at the Minor Stories during the post BFG weeks of October 2014 in TNA...


Minor Story: Havok’s Knockouts Championship Reign

The monster of the Knockouts Division, Havok won the Knockouts Championship at the beginning of October, over Gail Kim, to begin her reign as champion. She then proceeded to defeat Velvet Sky at Bound For Glory, and, really, was anyone surprised by that? Velvey doesn’t exactly have the kind of wrestling style or intelligence necessary to beat someone like Havok, unless her friend, Angelina was going to interfere on her behalf. Wonh wonh. Anyhow, as is customary in TNA, it doesn’t take them long to establish the next #1 contender, and, on the October 15th episode of Impact, Madison Rayne challenged Havok for the title. Of this three week, post Bound For Glory chapter, it would be Havok’s sole title defence. In a 6 minute match, Havok dominated Rayne for the most part and came away with the win. The only other segment of note was on October 22nd when Rebel was to face Angelina Love. Havok squashed Rebel before the match could begin, which prompted Gail Kim to return, somewhat recovered from her arm injury. Gail Kim was still pissed about losing to Havok and let her anger cloud her judgment. Her decision to attack Havok was poorly planned and Havok beats up on Kim…to no reaction from the crowd. Ouch.

Given the record that Havok has had since joining TNA, it’s difficult to see her losing a singles match without some kind of fluke or interference. Her strength and power is at such odds with the rest of the Knockouts who depend on a mix of strength, agility and, for a few, submission moves. TNA, perhaps, recognized this because at the October 29th Impact, with Madison Rayne turning on Taryn Terrell, a triple threat Knockouts Championship Match would soon be booked to seize upon this new feud and make it worthy of attention. I have found that the Knockouts Division has trouble capturing the right kind of attention with the title not involved. Case in point: the Beautiful People’s attempts to take over the division weren’t received very well and even they had the belt for a few months with Love as champion. Without a focus on the belt, the Beautiful People began a relationship with the Bro-Mans and a feud with the Menagerie, all of which is arguably more minor than the Knockouts Championship.


Minor Story: Revolution’s Search For Members

TNA and Wrestle 1’s relationship may have concluded with the Bound For Glory PPV in Tokyo, but the major storyline contribution of James Storm’s Revolution continued to have life after that event. With Sanada and Manik in tow, Storm sought new members for his group, beginning at the October 22nd Impact. His target? Davey Richards of the Tag Team Champion Wolves. This story had plenty of TV time on October 29th, when Edwards confronted Richards about what Storm was attempting to do. Edwards’ loyalty towards his team proved to be fierce when he challenged Storm to a match later that night. Although it was a bit hard to believe that the Wolves could be so easily split up, Storm’s claims that Richards was being held back of gaining more accolades by Edwards was a genuinely believable way for Storm to try and attract Davey to his cause. Storm’s win over Edwards in a 5 minute match demonstrated the physical power Storm commands. It planted seeds of a possible betrayal for the final three weeks of the TNA 2014 season, and yet, how many viewers truly believed Storm would split up the Wolves? There would need to be plenty more mind games before I would get on board with a possible win for the Revolution here. Was this simply a time-filler for Storm until something better came along? Or was it Storm’s way of trying to make the Revolution more credible? He had nothing to gain from pursuing another low to mid-card wrestler, so why not aim higher, towards those who hold the gold? My conclusion is that the attempt was justified, regardless of the end result.


Minor Story: Bram Is Hardcore

Bram hasn’t had much in-ring time over the past month, aside from a No DQ match with Sam Shaw, who we’ll briefly speak on shortly. Still, his quest to be known as the new force of hardcore wrestling in TNA continues. On the October 15th Impact, he attacks new Hall of Famer Devon, of Team 3D, to somehow prove his “hardcoreness”. Now, Devon is definitely a legend of extreme wrestling matches, so Bram has picked a fair target. Will their age difference and the fact that Devon is without his partner, Bully Ray, give Bram the advantage? Well, yes. Bram wins a hardcore match between the two on October 22nd. If Bram was a character in the boardgame, Clue, he would definitely use the wrench as his murder weapon. The turnbuckle wrench was a major player in helping him that match over Devon. From that victory, Bram touted himself as the King of Hardcore, a title that NO ONE ELSE would consider giving to Bram, Devon included. That man has been through too much to give up after one match. He brings along Tommy Dreamer; Magnus joins Bram and the two teams seem set for a match in the final chapter of the TNA 2014 season. We’ll see if Bram’s claim of rewriting hardcore wrestling will come true.


*BRRRRRING*


Conclusion: That wraps up another class in the schoolhouse. I heard a few of the students piping up about how we should be talking 2015 business by now. We’ll get there. If there’s one life lesson I can impart on you today, it’s the importance of following through on what you said you’d do. There’s no getting to 2015 without working through 2014, and the stories and matches of TNA Impact in 2014 are the bridge that brought TNA to where it is now, on the cusp of a new chapter in its existence. There are those who thought Hogan and Bischoff’s departure would be the beginning of a new chapter, and I think there’s some merit to that. Truly, though, with the departure from Spike TV, and the possibility of a GFW connection looming, I feel that this summer could and should be the beginning of an interesting time in TNA. Many think the company will shut down in September. I’m not so sure. Anyways, our next class WILL be the final one for TNA’s 2014 season. We’ll be reviewing the month of November and the 3 weeks of Impact Wrestling that were the final episodes broadcast on Spike TV. Bring your questions and comments to class, and I’ll respond to them before we begin the next lesson. Peace!

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What’s up guys, Kingzak is back in action with another column. Today I bring you what I can best describe as a prediction column, however it will just be me today, taking a look at the WWE’s Japan sort-of-PPV, known according to Wikipedia as “The Beast in the East”, I don’t know that I have seen it promoted as such anywhere else, but I like the name so we can stick with it.

This is going to be a combination of a preview and a prediction column; I guess most prediction columns are kind of previews too. Let’s not get into the debate about to what degree is a prediction a preview, we can save that for the feedback, for now let’s take a look at what the WWE has on the table for their first ever broadcast from Japan.

The event will be emanating to us from Ryōgoku Kokugikan in Sumida, Tokyo, Japan. Until Tokyo I don’t know that any of those were real, honestly it looks like the result of throwing the bag of scrabble letters across the room. I am not sure on the air time, but I think I heard that it happen 5:30 AM in America, so add 8 hours to get the Britain time, which is about 1:30 PM, and on a Saturday, so I will have just woke up, if WWE are doing another free network month I might be watching this over breakfast, that would be weird, normally it dinner when I watch the best bits of the shows, so that’ll be a bit different.

Anyway enough about me, it is time to take a look at the matches, so without further ado, let’s begin.


Well this is an odd match, but then again anytime someone in a career tag team competes in a singles match it seems odd. Where is Fernando? I know Kidd is out after neck surgery but why not have him team with someone else, Natalya might make a good team mate. Maybe Torito could turn heel on them and align with Cesaro.

Either way this just seems odd, especially considering Cesaro is an established singles star to boot, and now he is facing someone who plays second fiddle to a midget. So this should be an easy win for Cesaro, the only real question is how much height will Diego get before taking one of Cesaro’s signature uppercuts, and will we see the big swing. Those are the only real questions about this match. I reckon that out of all the matches this is the one it will be easiest to go to the bathroom in, assuming you go near the start, wouldn’t want to miss a Matador getting knocked the fuck out.

Winner: Cesaro

As for the matches placement on card I imagine that it will be somewhere in the middle of the show, or before the main events begin. Nothing to surprising here. I reckon that it will be at least a 2 star match.


This is the match that the divas storyline has been building to since after WrestleMania, Nikki vs. Naomi vs. Paige. I can only assume that Brie and Tamina will be ringside for this. It is good to see the culmination of all the divas story for the past few months take place but I can’t help feeling as though Nikki is still going to be champion after this match. I do like the idea someone posted on Twitter (I have forgotten who) of Kharma being brought in by Paige as back up against the Bellas, that would be great to see, if only because she will literally destroy most of the division and that would be comical. But since I doubt that will happen and since this isn’t an actual PPV I am going to pick Nikki to win the match

Winner: Nikki

You know I am really burnt out on divas in general, I find myself struggling to care at all right now, with any luck they will come up with something to draw interest soon because as of right now, there is nothing of interest with the divas (main roster anyway). As to the match rating, I am going to be optimistic and say 2.25 stars. Some may ask how that is optimistic, well since WrestleMania no PPV divas match has passed 2 stars (ER was 2 stars), so I hope they can beat that.


This could be an interesting match, on one side you have one of the worst face teams of modern days, and on the other side you have some rather exciting new-ish debuters in the Lucha Dragons. I am uncertain as to how this match is going to go, I would normally say The New Day would win, but since they lost the tag titles and are about to be destroyed by Brock Lesnar later this night/morning/afternoon they are looking like they may be out of things to do, and giving someone a win when you have no plans for them is just poor business.

So with those thoughts in mind I am going to say that the Lucha Dragons win, sure The New Day have their title rematch coming soon, but they aren’t going to win it so they don’t need the momentum, it is better to establish this new team. However I do think this may end up being one of the closest contests of the night.

Winner: The Lucha Dragons

I think as far as card placement goes this match could be the one right before the Main event, because this looks like the ideal match for that spot, people can go to the bathroom if they are desperate and people who have been responsible with their bladder can sit and enjoy some pretty decent wrestling action. As for the rating I am going to guess this match gets the average 2.5 Stars, nothing to be ashamed about there.


I don’t understand this match. Look at the participants for fuck sake. We have one guy who is directionless as fuck, another who just got into a feud with a big Russian dude over blonde women, one who is a pawn in an evil corporation and the last one is John Cena. What sort of rag tag bullshit is this? This match makes no sense in a kayfabe sense. However an interesting fact I can give you for this match, John Cena was feuding with each of these men in December of consecutive years Barrett (2010) Kane (2011) Ziggler (2012). Funny what you notice when you’re ranting.
This match makes me wonder, where the fuck is Seth Rollins on this card, him and Kane vs. Cena and Dolph would make some sense, in the “Revival of a feud from last year” sort of way. I feel like this some surprisingly smart, subliminal messaging from WWE, in that Rollins is scared to be on the same show as Lesnar, knowing that even with the Authority he is doomed, and thus trying to avoid him at every cost.

I haven’t actually given any thoughts on the actual match yet have I? Only a bit of ranting about kayfabe and a mild conspiracy theory, so regarding the actual match I think this one could turn out pretty good despite the really weak offering on the heel side of things, but no matter how good the match is we all know the result to this one.

Winner: John Cena and Dolph Ziggler

This match is one that could open the show, because you always have to open the show well or it spells a crappy night for the show, however I question this match starting the show, since it has Cena in it, and I don’t know how much Japanese kids like Cena. If it is a lot then they may just stop caring after this match, so I would say this should be two matches before the main event, so it would be this then ND vs LD, and then Lesnar/Kofi. As for the quality I am not expecting much but the optimist in me hopes that this match can hit 3 stars, which would be a success for this match, meanwhile the realist is saying that it may hit 2.75 Stars at most.


So this is a match that makes absolutely no sense, I don’t think these two have ever crossed paths before. Actually I am off to check that. Nope they have never faced each other in any way, no tag team, no multi man, nothing. And on top of that, I am imagining they are both faces for this match, but then again Jericho can be a pretty great heel, so who knows. I am going to go under the assumption that Jericho is a face in this match.

Jericho sure has worked an odd schedule these last few months, live events only; this is his first televised match since his not match with Paul Heyman last December, or his match with Orton at NOC last year. So this will be interesting, Jericho and Neville are both known for having good matches, only difference between the two is the Neville is a high flyer while Jericho is more of a technician.

As to who is going to win, it would make more sense to have Neville win, especially since Jericho won’t be on TV again for a while afterwards (as long as you don’t include Tough Enough). However there is one thing that is stopping me from guessing that Neville will win, the possibility of seeing the Red Arrow countered into a Code Breaker. And if that happens and Neville kicks out then it will pretty much ruin the moment, so the question here is, Have WWE thought of this spot and are they planning it for the show? I am going to guess that they haven’t, so I am going to pick Neville to win, but if we see that spot then I won’t even be mildly disappointed in being wrong.

Winner: Neville

So I think this could be the match that starts off the night, it is that typical mid-card match between two people who could have a great match, so that is how you start off the night, with a good match, it gets the crowd hyped up for the night, which is always a good thing. As for the rating knowing these two superstars this could rank between 3 stars and 4 stars, a bit of a broad margin there, let’s say they hit a 3.5 Star match at least.


So is anyone here questioning the result of this match? Kofi is fucked, this is Brock’s first match since getting screwed out of the world title, so not only is he pissed, he is also still the tank of a human being that he was before WrestleMania. If Kofi is able to walk out on his own then that is a victory for him.

I find myself wondering what the other two members of The New Day will be up to during this match, because I couldn’t just be backstage watching one of my teammates getting mauled by a shaved bear. So I reckon that at some point the rest of the New Day will come to the rescue, chances are Brock takes all three of them out, but at least it will be divided amongst the three instead of being heaped on poor Kofi.

Hey guys, I just thought of an interesting spot for this match. Brock does a German suplex but Kofi flips a bit more and lands on his feet. That would look really cool in my opinion, I am sure it has been done before, but that doesn’t stop it looking impressive. So do you think this happens or not?

I think the big question for this match is will it be the last match, because Brock is the biggest star the WWE has right now (I am not counting the Rock since he isn’t technically on roster right now), this match is likely going to be a squash match so having it go on last would be a poor business decision. I doubt it will main event the show but I can’t think of anywhere else to put it, only placement I can give it is “After Big E and Xavier take on the Lucha Dragons”

Oh and if it wasn’t clear, I am picking Brock Lesnar to win

Winner: Brock Lesnar

Ok we are almost done, just one match left before we are done, a bit of a shame, but we still have one more match to talk about. And if Kofi/Brock doesn’t main event then this is the match that should.


This match makes a lot of sense as the main event, you have one of the most incredible heels to come through WWE in many years, and on the other side you have a man who has been a top wrestler in NJPW for many years, now making his first WWE PPV appearance. This one has the potential to be a MOTY candidate. And can only be added to by what I can only assume is going to be so sweet ass body painting from Balor.

So based on the hype attitude towards this match I clearly am interested in seeing this one play out (unlike some of the earlier match), I honestly have no idea what could happen throughout the match and that adds to the excitement, unpredictability is a good thing, if you can imagine the exact way a match goes it tends to be shit.

Ok onto the actual prediction for this match, other than it being a four star match, we need to pick a winner, and while Owens has been booked strong, the problem is that he has been booked strong on the main roster, meanwhile he is holding the NXT title. I notice a bit of a contradiction there, how can you be on the main roster and still have an NXT title. Short answer is you can’t. So in front of a raucous “Home” crowd, Finn Balor is going to capture the NXT title.

Winner: Finn Balor

---

So those are my predictions for Beast in the East, and even though I just wrote about 2500 words on the matter, I am no surer whether this is a PPV or not, calling it a Network special is bullshit, that isn’t an answer. I need to know so I can possibly gather star ratings for PPV-Star 2015. I am counting Elimination Chamber if that helps anyone work out whether I should count this.

Ok enough of me rambling, I am sure you guys have things you want to do today, all that Netflix won’t watch itself will it. So I would like to thank you all for joining me on this little preview/prediction look through this upcoming show, let me know what you think about the show and whether I should count it as a PPV or not. Thank you all for reading and I hope to see you all back here next time, when, and this is an official announcement, I will have the zombies back. So you have that to look forward to, but for now I will see you all next time.

SE #108 "The American Dream" Dusty Rhodes
#100 Jim "The Anvil" Neidhart
#99 Marty Jannetty
#98 Sensational Sherri Martel
#97 Nikolai Volkoff
#96 Hardcore Bob Holly
#95 "Soulman" Rocky Johnson
#94 Wendi Richter




G’day one and all and welcome to another installment of the Top 100 WWE Superstars of All Time, I am your host the King of Stats ready to take you through the career of yet another great name from the WWE. Today’s entry is a very special entry and one I doubt many of you would have expected to be on the list, which to be honest he only made the list on a choice made by me. Yes some of my bias did come into this list after all, even though it is stat orientated.

OK let me explain. After collecting my stats on the 500 candidates for the series I made a judgement call to make a cut-off of 100 matches to be eligible to have had a “career” in the WWE, but if a case could be made for someone under the 100 matches then their inclusion would be allowed. This only affected four wrestlers, two of which a case could be made that their WWE career was significant enough to be included on this list. The two wrestlers unfortunate to be cut (Antonio Inoki & Tatsumi Fujinami), while legends in their own right and WWE Hall of Famers, had careers more prominent in their home country of Japan and were not major players in the WWE. Yes a slight case can be made as they both held a WWE belt but I believe I made the right decision.

As to the two who made it, well I don’t know why I wouldn’t want them included as they both have played a special part of the WWE’s history. While the second wrestler will not appear for a while yet today we will take a look at what I guess you will call our first “Wild Card” inclusion, and might I say this will be a doozy of a day.




Yes you read that right, it is not a typo, the 93 entry in the Top 100 WWE Superstars of All Time is the Chairman himself, the Genetic Jackhammer Vince McMahon. Now if you saw this coming, well then you must have had a look at my data because I highly doubt it. Vinnie Mac is not known for his in-ring prowess but here it is for all to see. Honestly I’ve never thought much about McMahon’s in-ring career, it has always been his character which has been front and forward-most but it was here and there backed up in the ring. No one ever claimed that McMahon was the greatest wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots but he never needed too, that was never the point. What he was for the majority of his in-ring career was the evil boss that everyone wanted to see get the shit kicked out of him, something that happened more often than not.

I am not going to cover Vince’s entire WWE career in this column, I will be here forever with the many aspects of his career. I am not going to talk about him buying the company of his father and buying out the territories to expand the WWE or his many years spent as the voice of the WWE as a commentator. I am not going to talk about his big controversies like the two screw jobs or the steroid trials nor am I going to talk about his failed ventures like the WBF and the XFL. While they would all interesting reads that is not the purpose of this series. Instead I will only be focusing on the Mr. McMahon character itself, splitting it from Vince McMahon the person as it is that persona who has been in the matches told within while the real Vince is the person to have made all the business decisions.

So we pick the story of McMahon up in 1997. At this point McMahon had been commentating for the most part of the last 26 years but had only been, in passing, acknowledged on air the last few that he was in fact the owner of the company. While the Montreal Screwjob is normally stated as the birth of the Mr McMahon character it had in fact started a few months before. After a cage match loss against Sycho Sid on an episode of Raw in March, Bret Hart would go on a rant aimed at McMahon, including pushing him over when he came into the ring to conduct an interview. This led to McMahon nearly cursing out Hart on commentary. Another incident would happen at the first ever Raw emanating from Madison Square Garden when after stopping Steve Austin from attacking police he would eat his first ever Stone Cold Stunner. It would be the Montreal Screw Job however which would change the ball game for McMahon.

After the events of that fateful night in November, McMahon would step away from the commentary booth, no longer the face play-by-play commentator, now on his way to becoming the evil owner of the WWE. Now a heel McMahon needed someone for whom to face off against and that person would be in the guise of Stone Cold Steve Austin. With their first altercation happening months prior McMahon would come out on an episode of Raw in December and state how he was unhappy with the way Austin was behaving and forced him into a rematch against The Rock for Austin’s Intercontinental Title. While Austin would win he relinquished the title saying he had bigger fish to fry. Austin would go on to win the Rumble earning himself a shot at the World Championship held by Shawn Michaels at Wrestlemania. The week before Wrestlemania McMahon shocked everyone by stating that he didn’t want Austin to win the title and made Mike Tyson the special enforcer for the match.

WWE CAREER
Matches: 56
Record: 27-21-8
Win %: 48.21%
Years Active: 12

Tyson would however double cross McMahon and help Austin win the title, thus meaning McMahon had the task of getting the title away from his newfound rival. Just a few weeks after Wrestlemania Austin would challenge McMahon to a match for the title and in a move that would surprise everyone McMahon said yes to his very first match at the tender age of 52. The match itself, while hyped continuously throughout the show would go to a no contest when Dude Love attacked Austin. What the match did however was give McMahon was the idea that he actually could step in the ring and people would be interested.

McMahon would only step in the ring once more in 1997, a month after his debut, teaming with Austin in a no-contest against the Nation of Domination members D-Lo Brown and The Rock. The rest of the year was spent by McMahon trying to get the title off Austin, a feat he finally achieved with the help of The Brothers of Destruction. With the title held up a tournament would be held at Survivor Series that in a storyline replay of the screwjob the year before, would see McMahon get the bell rung to see The Rock named the new World Champion. This alliance of The Rock with McMahon would see the birth of the Corporation, which at that time also included Shane McMahon, Commissioner Slaughter, Pat Patterson, Gerald Brisco and The Big Boss Man.

A couple of months later, in retaliation for McMahon naming Austin as the number 1 entrant for the Royal Rumble the new commissioner Shawn Michaels would name McMahon as the number 2 entrant. To counteract this McMahon would make a “corporate” Rumble in which all Corporation and DX members would compete to earn the number 30 spot. Thinking he had won, McMahon was celebrating when final DX member Chyna entered the match and threw him out of the ring. In just his fourth ever match McMahon would enter the Rumble at number 2 and while he would sit the majority of the match at the commentary table, he would eventually win the match with the help of The Rock to eliminate Austin, McMahon’s only elimination of the match.


Since his main objective was for Austin not to win the Rumble, not necessarily win it himself, McMahon would waive his Wrestlemania title shot. However the rules stated that the runner up would get the shot if the winner waived the right, Austin would offer up his shot if McMahon could beat him in a steel cage match at St Valentine’s Day Massacre. With the corporation banned from the match McMahon was on his own but he had an ace up his sleeve with the debuting Paul Wight (Big Show). However the plan would backfire when Wight would throw Austin into the cage breaking it and allowing Austin to escape to the floor.

DEBUTS
WWE Debut: 13/4/98 no contest against Steve Austin
TV Debut: 13/4/98 no contest against Steve Austin on Raw #255
MSG Debut: 11/9/06 defeated Triple H

For the next few months the McMahon/Austin feud would continue as well as the Corporation feuding with DX and Mankind. Over this time McMahon would appear in more matches and would manage to pick up singles victories against Shane McMahon, The Undertaker (by DQ) and Ken Shamrock. A major advancement in the Mr. McMahon character happened during this time when it was revealed just how far he would go to get what he wants when it was revealed that he was the “greater power” that had got The Undertaker to kidnap his daughter Stephanie just to further his feud with Austin.


McMahon’s feud with Austin would come to a head again in June he would team with his son Shane in a Ladder Match against Austin in the main of of the King of the Ring PPV. In response to McMahon’s use of his daughter in his feud with Austin his wife had given both her’s and Stephanie's shares in the company to Austin making him part owner, therefore the purpose of this match was therefore for complete control of the company. During the match Austin was about to win when the hanging briefcase was raised out of his reach, the perpetrator of this shenanigans is still unknown to this day. Eventually the McMahon’s won but Austin had made sure he had already signed a World Title match for himself and would once again become champion the next week. A rematch would be signed between Austin and former champion The Undertaker at Fully Loaded with the stipulation that if Taker did not win then McMahon could no longer appear on WWE TV. Austin would win the match so therefore putting the stipulation into action.

The hiatus would not last for long though as McMahon would come back just over two months later in defence of his wife who was being harassed by Triple H on an episode of Raw. Later that week on Smackdown HHH would pick McMahon as his opponent in a World Title defence and with the help of Austin McMahon would beat HHH becoming the World Champion in the process. On Raw the following Monday however McMahon would come out and relinquish the title as he was not supposed to be on TV.


In return for being included in the match for the vacant championship Austin would reinstate McMahon’s TV privileges and therefore allow him to continue his feud with HHH which would intensify after HHH would marry Stephanie against her knowledge. The two would meet in a No Holds Barred Match at Armageddon which would see HHH walk out the victor. Eventually Stephanie would reveal the fact that she was always with HHH and was having her family on and McMahon would leave TV instead of watching the two be together.

WWE TV/PPV
TV Matches: 56
PPV Main Events: 5

McMahon would return to TV in March to aid The Rock, which included teaming with him to beat Shane and The Big Show on an episode of Raw. At Wrestlemania McMahon would turn on The Rock in favour of Triple H, thus starting a new feud in the process. McMahon would once again team with Shane McMahon again at that years King of the Ring, along with Triple H in a six-man tag against The Brothers of Destruction and The Rock. The match would be for HHH’s World Title which The Rock would win by pinning McMahon to end the match. After this McMahon would once again leave TV.

Upon his return McMahon would enter into a feud with his son Shane which would include the storyline of Shane buying WCW out from under him. The two would face at Wrestlemania X-7 in a street fight which Shane would win thanks to his mother Linda who everyone believed was in a comatose state. However McMahon was not done for the night as he would return later in the main event to help Steve Austin beat The Rock.

A few months later he would team with Austin replacing Triple H in a Tag Team Title rematch against Chris Jericho and Chris Benoit but would fail to win. The feud with Shane would continue, eventually turning into the Invasion as Shane’s WCW would join forces with Stephanie’s ECW to battle their father’s WWF thus taking McMahon out of in-ring action for the majority of the year. One match he would have though was a rematch against Shane but once again he would come up on the losing side of the equation.

Upon the conclusion of the Invasion angle Ric Flair would show up on WWE TV as the new half owner of the WWE as he was the “consortium” who had bought Shane and Stephanie’s shares so they could buy WCW and ECW. The two would meet in a street fight, which would once again see McMahon fall on the losing side of the equation. This would be followed by the brand split in which McMahon taking control of Smackdown, while Flair took control of Raw. Their feud would end in June when McMahon would win a no-holds barred match between the two for full control of the company.

TITLE REIGNS
1. World Heavyweight Championship - 14/9/99-20/9/99 - 6 days
2. ECW World Heavyweight Championship - 29/4/07-3/6/07 - 35 days

McMahon would return once again in February, this time entering into a feud with Hulk Hogan with McMahon trying to put a stop to Hulkamania, a phenomenon he said he created. In what was becoming a habit McMahon, he would lose to Hogan in a Street Fight at Wrestlemania XIX. McMahon would retaliate by banning Hogan from wrestling but the Hulkster would return under the guise of Mr America. The next few months would be spent by McMahon trying to prove that it was Hogan under the mask, failing miserably until Hogan himself quit the WWE thus making McMahon come out on TV and say that he had discovered the truth and fired him.


Even though Hogan had left, the mini feuds that their feud had created in that time would continue for McMahon. The first of these would be against Zach Gowan, the one legged wrestler who had been accompanying Mr. America. After Gowen had earned himself a contract in a match in which he teamed with Stephanie McMahon to beat The Big Show McMahon was furious and booked them in a singles match at Vengeance. While Vince, who bled profusely, would dominate the match and eventually get the win, it was Gowen who was applauded for the effort he had put into the match.

The other feud which had developed for McMahon was with his daughter Stephanie who at the time was the Smackdown GM. Because of her being the person credited to have re-signed Hogan originally, along with her support for Gowen and her attempts to stop a relationship between himself and Sable, McMahon tried to get her to resign her spot as GM. After she refused to do so he signed the first (and thankfully only) Father/Daughter I Quit match at No Mercy. While Stephanie refused to quit during the match, no matter what punishment her father put her through, it was her mother Linda who would throw in the towel for her because McMahon would not release a choke he had on her with a steel pipe. As per the extra stipulation of the match Stephanie was no longer the GM of Smackdown.


Later that night McMahon would help Brock Lesnar retain the WWE Championship in his Biker Chain match with The Undertaker, which combined with his treatment of Stephanie, would see Taker seek out retribution. This rivalry would lead to a Buried Alive match at Survivor Series which would see McMahon get the victory when Taker’s brother Kane would assist him at the end of the match. Other than a no contest against Eric Bischoff on Raw a few months later, this was the last time we would see McMahon in a match for two years.

PUBLIC OPINION
Site 1 score: 8.66/10
Site 2 ranking: 137th/533

McMahon’s return to the ring would come about in 2006 thanks to a newly formed feud with Shawn Michaels based upon how Michaels wanted to leave the Montreal Screwjob in the past yet McMahon did not want to let the moment go. After costing Michaels the Rumble and a Street Fight against Shane McMahon at Saturday Night’s Main Event the two would face off in a No Holds Barred match at Wrestlemania 22, a match which Michaels would win despite multiple interferences. Vince said the only reason Michaels won was because Michaels had an unofficial partner in God and at Backlash booked Michaels and God (a spotlight) in a match against himself and Shane. This match was mostly about McMahon mocking religion and him and Shane would walk out winners in what was in reality a handicap match.


The feud with Michaels would eventually get bigger as Triple H was brought into the mix, reforming DX with Michaels in the process. The McMahons and DX would first square off at Summerslam and once again despite a lot of interference for the benefit of the McMahons DX would walk out the victors. To better their chances against DX the McMahons would allie themselves with the Big Show, who at the time was the ECW Champion, and would face them in a Handicap Hell in a Cell at Unforgiven. Despite the added beef of The Big Show DX still walked out the winners and thus putting an end to the feud.

Up next for McMahon was a feud with Billionaire Donald Trump. Even though Trump wanted to fight McMahon they would eventually choose a wrestler each, McMahon picking Umaga and Trump picking Bobby Lashley, who would face each other at Wrestlemania 23. The stipulation of the match saw both Billionaires put their hair on the line and thus once Lashley won McMahon would have his head shaved bald.

Due to Lashley winning the match and shaving him bald McMahon would turn his sights onto Lashley, in particular getting his ECW Championship away from him. McMahon would achieve the feat at Backlash when he would team with Shane and Umaga in a handicap match against Lashley with whoever getting the pin becoming champion. With McMahon getting the pin he would gain his second ever title, this time however he would not relinquish it like he had done his first.

AWARDS
1996 PWI Feud of the Year (v Eric Bischoff)
1998 PWI Feud of the Year (v Steve Austin)
1998 WON Feud of the Year (v Steve Austin)
1999 PWI Feud of the Year (v Steve Austin)
1999 WON Feud of the Year (v Steve Austin)
2001 PWI Feud of the Year (v Shane McMahon)
2006 PWI Match of the Year v Shawn Michaels - Wrestlemania 22 - April 2
WON Hall of Fame - Class of 1996
Professional Wrestling Hall of Fame - Class of 2011

McMahon’s first defence of the ECW Title would take place a week and a half later when once again teaming with Shane and Umaga they would defeat Rob Van Dam on ECW. A few weeks later at Judgement Day a rematch from Backlash would happen with Lashley this time picking up the win. Even though the match was for the title McMahon would remain champion due to the fact that lashley had pinned Shane and not him himself. In order for Lashley to get another shot at the title McMahon made him run the gauntlet of Chris Masters, Viscera, Umaga and Shane McMahon. After winning the four matches the two would finally meet in a singles match, albeit a Street Fight, at One Night Stand, with Lashley winning back his belt. Thus ending McMahon’s last title reign.

A week after losing the title the Mr McMahon character was killed in a car explosion however the storyline would only last two weeks when McMahon would break the storyline when Chris Benoit died. Due to this a new storyline was devised in which McMahon had a illegitimate son, who was found to actually be one of the wrestlers of the WWE. After weeks of speculation the son turned out to be the Leprechaun, Hornswoggle. Eventually however the the whole thing turned out to be a scam which was being perpetrated by his family in cahoots with Hornswoggle’s storyline father Finlay.


While the Illegitimate son angle was playing out McMahon would also have a mini-feud with Triple H which included McMahon teaming with Carlito to beat HHH in a Steel Cage match on Raw and a week later beating him in a singles match with Carlito as the special referee. When the paternity was found out as a fake he would lose to Hornswoggle in a No Disqualification match. The next month he would face Ric Flair in a Street Fight with Flair’s career on the line, but as the pattern has been McMahon lost bringing his street fight record to 0-6.

Close to a year would pass before McMahon would once again get involved in storylines, this time in support of his daughter Stephanie and her husband Triple H against Randy Orton. During this time he would appear in two matches, the first a no contest the Raw after Wrestlemania against Orton, the other four months later when he teamed with DX to beat Legacy.

TOP 5 MATCHES
1 Vince McMahon v Shawn Michaels - Wrestlemania 22 - 2/4/06
2 Vince McMahon v Hulk Hogan - Wrestlemania XIX - 30/3/03
3 Vince McMahon, Shane McMahon & The Big Show v DX - Unforgiven - 17/9/06
4 Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon v Shawn Michaels - Backlash - 30/4/06
5 Vince McMahon & Shane McMahon v DX - Summerslam - 20/8/06

In November McMahon would be called out for a match by Raw Guest Host Roddy Piper, a match that he would decline stating that he had retired from in-ring competition. However as is the norm in wrestling that statement rang false as he had two more matches just five months later.

In January Bret Hart would return to WWE TV for the first time in 12 years which would ignite a feud with McMahon who of course was supposedly the mastermind behind the Montreal Screw Job. For the next few weeks McMahon would taunt Hart and talk down about his family before injuring Hart’s leg with a car backstage. With Hart’s leg in a cast McMahon would goad Hart into a match at Wrestlemania XXVI. Before that match however McMahon would team with Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Mark Henry and Vladimir Kozlov in a No-DQ handicap match to beat John Cena who had been a Hart sympathiser the entire storyline.

As to the match with Bret, McMahon believed he had bought the services of the entire Hart family to be Lumberjack’s for the match but eventually it was revealed that they were all on Bret’s side and helped him in his 12-minute beatdown of McMahon. This loss to Hart brought McMahon’s Wrestlemania record to 0-4 and was the last match he ever wrestled, even though at one stage a match was signed against CM Punk on an episode of Raw.


Love him or hate him Vince McMahon has earned his spot in wrestling history more times than can be mentioned. This small write-up is only part of what the man has done and achieved over the years. While hi inclusion in this series could be debated for it’s entirety I believe it is a very valid one. No he wasn’t anywhere near the greatest technical wrestler the world has ever seen but he did what was needed to be done to make his product entertaining. How many other millionaires do you know would put themselves through the punishment he has put himself through just for the fans entertainment. No Vince McMahon is not just the brilliant promoter who changed the face of wrestling, he is the #93 Top WWE Superstar of All Time.

Kiss Me I’m IrishSarah : My Wrestling venues

So, Welcome to latest the Kiss Me I’m IrishSarah column. The same old rules apply. I don’t do this for a living. I am not a journalist. I am not a writer. I do not have a job in pro wrestling. I have never wrestled a match. I hated Journalism class. If you have comments about my writing style, the composition of this article, my grammar, my spelling, my structuring of the column or how I could improve it? I don’t want to hear it. It isn’t important to me and its not why I wrote this column. If you disagree with me? Good, make your case. Make it on points and defend them. This is supposed to stimulate conversation.

If you like this, take a look at my last really good wrestling column here about Finn Balor : http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...%E2%80%99s-Day . If you want something a bit more serious check out my column on the murder of Jean McConville: http://www.lordsofpain.tv/showthread...-m-Irish-Sarah

A tip of the hat to American Mikey P and his column on the recent Boston Garden House Show : . If he hadn’t written about the show, I never would have had the urge to write about how much I hate watching wrestling in that arena. Maybe the problem is how they stage it. Maybe the problem is how the building is intended for Hockey. The sightlines are terrible, the ring never sounds good, the crowd noise doesn’t carry right and the crowds always suck. I have seen many wrestling shows in the Boston area. The Boston Garden is my least favorite building for them. I hope NXT comes up here and does a show at Boston University. That’s a great building.



There is nothing like live wrestling. Nothing. I have always believed wrestling is best consumed as a television product. When it is well lit and well shot, many of the weaknesses of professional wrestling can be covered by great production. A great tv show with solid production can cover many mistakes in the ring while shitty production and storytelling cannot be saved by great wrestling and shiny costumes/sets. It is really hard though for a wrestling company to stand out from it’s competitors.

To be a great wrestling venue, I believe you need 3 things. 1. A great crowd who can make itself stand out. As we will see, it doesn’t mean a smart crowd neccisarily but a crowd that fits the product. 2. A recognizable architecture. When you do a show from somewhere it has to look iconic and preferably a little different. It has to ring with the history of past matches and instantly conjure memories of past victories. 3. Concession stand … No seriously. … Ok, Im kidding … The third thing is it needs to be a place that the talent can connect to. Wrestling is live theater. It is the talent which makes a venue. If a talent respects where they are then it’ll show through. Those guys work harder in the Garden or the Rosemont Horizon and it shows in the product.

My personal top 5 wrestling Venues.

Growing up, my brother and I had little in common. He listened to rap and hard rock, my tastes were more eclectic. He watched a lot of sports and I like a good drama. We fought about everything, movies, books, Asian food (he likes Chinese, I like Thai) Fast Food (He likes McDonalds, I liked Wendys) best place to see a movie, our respective significant others (I had bad habits), everything. We would argue like cats and dogs. The main thing we agreed on was Wrestling. He is 7 years older than me. He was an avid tape trader when I was younger and always had piles of VHS’s being sent to the house and making copies on the downstairs TV. After school, even when I was sort of young, I would go down to the basement and we would pretend to “watch TV” and once my mother delivered snacks, on went one of the wrestling tapes, and we would argue, fight, debate and watch. It is something we share. When he got older, he would road trip to venues. He would come up with some excuse and pack up the car. He saw early ROH shows in New York, He saw an ECW Arena show. He saw WCW in Baltimore and WWF at the Spectrum. He says wrestling is theater and the only way to truly experience it is live.

Because of my brother, sometimes, he would let me tag along. Even when I was REALLY young, we would lie to my parents, get aunts to cover for us, and he would set up these trips. In my tweens and teens I got to see MLW, ROH, Chaotic Pro, WWE, and even ECW. We would bundle in the car, we had roadtrip rules and I got to see some of mediocre wrestling in some of the greatest buildings of all time. But today? I can say, I was there. I was at the Arena before the renovations. I was at The Elks Lodge before they tore it up, I was at ROH in New York and Boston. He let me tag along. Sometimes he probably shouldn’t have. I survived though, (we did have to buy me shorts and a tshirt, send me to lay low, go to a laundry mat and wash my clothes then have me changed back into the washed clothes so my mom wouldn’t know I got covered in beer at a wrestling event she was unaware I was attending) I have been to big arena shows (at the Fleet Center/TD Garden and the Dunk’n Donuts Center in Providence mostly) but neither of those venues make the list. They were probably better wrestling shows but they lacked the atmosphere of what I love about these shows. I wasn’t close enough to hear the ring or watch two guys try to beat the fuck out of eachother. I was plenty far from those fireworks though.

These are the top 5 shows. They aren’t in order anymore. I changed the order to make the column flow better. I know, it goes against everything I believe in.

5. Hammerstien Ballroom.

I love The Ballroom, Not the Manhattan Center, the Ballroom. I like the pomp that it brings. I like the opulent setting. I think it works as a venue because the New York fans love it. It is full of diehards. The fans themselves respect the product. It isn’t a philly crowd. It can be vulgar. It can be spoiled. It can take more to pop them than it does in Nashville, or Atlanta. For the talent, the fans are right on top of them. They can feel the roar. I think it pushes them to work harder.
ECW ran many shows in The Ballroom. My favorite is probably Guilty as Charged 2001. I know we are supposed to like ECW Massacre on 34th Street but I preferred Guilty as Charged. ECW One Night Stand is my favorite WWE PPV. I think the venue translates really well for TV. It gives legitimacy for the places they work. I went to Final Battle 2008. It is probably the best PPV ive ever been live for. It was great.

What I love about the Ballroom is that it really does feel more like live theater. I could take friends to an indy show at the Ballroom and not feel embarrassed like taking them to an Ironworkers hall or a VFW. It makes the wrestling more like theater.

4. 3PW at The Arena.

I never got to make the pilgrimage to The ECW arena. I watched it on TV so often. I can still close my eyes and visualized the arena where so many legendary wrestling moments happened. I wanted that unvarnished wrestling experience. I wanted that pure wrestling experience that I saw on tape. I didn’t want to see lions at the Barnum and Bailey circus, I wanted the safari. The WWE was too much of a circus, I wanted the most pure wrestling experience. I wanted to Sing Enter Sandman. I wanted to cheer for Tommy Dreamer. I wanted to tell the guy to “Sweep it up” and I wanted to chant something stupid out loud with hundreds of other people. I wanted to see great wrestling and I wanted to be part of something special. When I was younger, I had been to an ECW event ( we will get to that in a bit) and like a junkie, I was still chasing that first high.

It’s funny what we remember thinking back. I remember that before we went my brother made me look through a road atlas to find the intersection of Swanson & Ritner (where the Arena was) and it wasn’t on the map. There was a rail line but it just wasn’t there. West Philadelphia was scary. I don’t care what you people say, It felt like I was in Fort Apache The Bronx. It was thanksgiving break and it was cold.

The building was damp cold. The building was filthy but it felt more like Warehouse than a place where some of the greatest wrestling of the previous decade had happened. You would think that being a major wrestling arena for multiple promotions that it would feel more lived in. It is still, to this day, the grossest wrestling building I ever saw wrestling in. My shoes stuck to the ground. It smelled like sweat piss and stale beer. I kneeled on my chair for most of the show. The show itself was for 3PW. 3PW was Tod Gordon’s post ECW promotion. I think at the time I knew 5 or 6 wrestlers on the card. It was the first time I saw Homicide, Low Ki and Matt Striker. I got to see Raven, Sandman and Sabu. Raven cut off Sandman’s entrance. The matches themselves were mediocre. Couple cool things tho, I got to chant ECW in the ECW Arena during a 3 way dance between Raven, Sandman and Sabu. I saw the future. I got to chant and sing and root for my childhood heroes. Even though they were a little tarnished, a little worn. The biggest thrill? Seriously, I got to meet John Bailey. If you don’t know who that is, I’m not telling you. At the end of the day, I got an entire beer dumped down my back during the main event.

Having an entire beer dumped down your back is one of the risks you take at a wrestling event. It wouldn’t have mattered. Except we told my mom we were going to New York City for an art exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. So, after the event we found a YMCA, my brother gave me his shirt, I went and showered and he went to find a laundry mat. He washed my clothes. It was terrifying but we got home at like 730 the next morning and my mom never found out. It was quite the adventure even if the Venue didn’t live up to my celluloid dreams.

3. MLW at the War Memorial Auditorium in Fort Lauderdale.

The furthest my brother and I ever went for a wrestling event was a Jet Blue flight to Fort Lauderdale Florida. My brother was dating a girl and she had been living down there after her parent’s divorce. My brother concocted this plan to fly down to Florida to see her over Christmas. So I negotiated my way along. I got 2 things, 1,Sunshine and 2. Wrestling.

After ECW closed, I was in a bit of a wrestling slump. The WWE butchered ECW in the invasion. HHH buried Rob Van Dam. Things were not good. I felt like an old timer harkening back to the glory days of ECW on TNN. Then my brother had this trip. Obviously, I was a teenager, I didn’t want to go. I wanted to go out with my BF and not go sit next to my brother while him and his GF necked on the couch. The way he sold me on it? Hey, I can get tickets to see Terry Funk wrestle Steve Corino. Done.


My first exposure to the War Memorial was a tape of Hardcore Heaven 1997. Almost 2,000 people packed the War Memorial to see ECW. I remember watching the card for the first time and it felt like a wrestling arena. It was 1997 and ECW still occasionally looked like a high school in Pennsylvania or a warehouse somewhere. This looked like wrestling to me and I remember it stood out. The building itself was instantly recognizable as a wrestling building. Being such an ECW mark, I was a huge Terry Funk fan. My brother, I think was always trying to sell me on Terry Funk so he got tapes from Memphis and Championship Wrestling from Florida and he would subject me to Terry’s matches. Remember ECW made Terry Funk sound like The Rock is often treated today in the WWE. He wasn’t a big star, he was one of the biggest ever. Some of those CWF tapes I got to watch the Funks take on the Briscos or Dusty wrestle Kevin Sullivan. I even got to see a bit of the midnight rider. Some of those matches came from that traditional wrestling building that hosted ECW Hardcore Heaven 1997.

I had never heard of Major League Wrestling when my brother suggested it . But, id go anywhere to see Terry Funk wrestle one more time. I mean at the time he was in his 50s. (He has wrestled into his 70s now by the way) and this could be my last chance. Add into that my favorite wrestler at the time (Steve Corino) and the Bull of the Woods Dusty Rhodes? I was in.

My brother said we had to get to the arena early. He was afraid they would sell out. I mean the building only held 1,900 people. We couldn’t get tickets ahead of time so we were worried. We didn’t have to be, There was maybe 350 people there. The arena felt so empty but it still looked like one of those old arenas. No lines for concessions. It was like they were doing the show for us. We had pretty good seats and we got to watch some of my favorite wrestlers work. I got to boo Mike Awesome when wrestle Jerry Lynn. I got to see Shah Hack Meyers wrestle. I saw Dr. Death wrestle a tag match. The best match of the night was a hardcore war between Sabu and La Parka classic. It cemented in my head that Sabu should have been doing the Shiek’s gimmick decades ago to save the miles on his body. I loved watching Funk, Dusty and Corino wrestle. I hated the run in but they made it fun. It was a really good time. It probably wasn’t a great match but after watching some great wrestling earlier and a hardcore war, I didn’t really mind. Corino really showed why he was great as a heel. We had a blast.


The highlight of my night, I got to meet The American Dream in a Dennys Parking lot after the show.


The building itself is great. It felt more like a legitimate sport arena. Sometimes these indy shows feel like fleamarket shows. I have never understood why TNA didnt use this building to film a taping or a show. They could have earned a gate. They could have given it sporting legitimacy. It would have seemed like more like a sporting event than a television show. I think it is a squandered chance.

Here is one of the matches from that night : La Parka vs Sabu : http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x12...12-20-02_sport

2. Ring of Honor - Boston University

A long time ago, I saw a Ring of Honor show from the Case Gym at Boston University. They had another one a year later and I missed it. It had some great matches and it breaks my heart I missed it. I loved this show because the crowd was so young. This was probably the first show that had a really cool kid energy that I didn’t feel I was sneaking in to. I got into ROH in 2005, (It was here which really pushed me to watch more Ring of Honor) Ring of Honor in like 2007 or 2008 felt like a real movement. The in ring product was so different but they had stripped away all the gaudy sports entertainment bullshit. I remember being completely breathless by Jimmy Jacobs and Tyler Black vs Kevin Steen and El Generico. The pop was amazing when the match ended and for a minute, I really felt like I had been a long term fan. ROH had a definitive philosophy. It felt like a different product and it fit the venue. I don’t think that the fireworks and production of a WWE show would fit the venue but for Ring of Honor, it felt like an outlaw show. It wasn’t the flash and production, it was just about the ring opera. It was about the stories that were told between the ropes. Arenas are to wrestling what frames are to art.

It was that show at Boston University that made me a Kevin Steen fan. The reaction of that building to Kevin and Sami was electric. They were more over than Roderick Strong or Daniel Bryan. It was amazing.

1. ECW - Elks Lodge in Queens New York.

This is my ECW show. I was there. I got to live it. I was far too young to be in the building, we were on the balcony and our seats sucked. I can’t explain it. It must have been like seeing Springsteen at the Main Point or The Clash at the Roxy or The Ramones at CBGBs or Hendrix and Cream at Central London Polytechnic. This is ECW. This is everything I ever loved about wrestling. I might write a column just about this night so I am going to focus more about the venue than the show. For me, this will always be the peak. I was far too young to go to this show. We almost got thrown out twice by security. We lied to my mother. We got a shitty hotel in New Jersey. It was like my biggest adventure ever.

What I loved about the Elks Lodge is that the tarnished opulence was perfect for ECW. The ceiling was beautiful, the Aztec carvings were this really cool roaring 20s look. Everything looked dirty. The ring was at the center of the attention and it had a great sound. The crowd was so into it. Sandman was shockingly over. I got to see the whole pageantry of ECW on display. Sure it wasn’t the glory days of ECW but if I’m honest, I like Steve Corino, Doring and Roadkill just as much as I like Shane Douglas Raven and Stevie. The show was really well put together. I remember that I thought it was weird but the Hard Cam was in the corner and not in the middle of the hard side like I had been taught. I think watching the show back later it gave a really unique look to the production. ECW was always doing things like that. They put cameras in the crowd sometimes, they put them in corners. It gave them a much more interesting look.

The show was great, the fans took good care of me, I never felt awkward (I did tell a security guard to do something to his mother in a very uncomfortable place). We chanted and screamed. It was amazing. It was ECW. I lived up to every expectation I had. The matches were awesome. ECW had it all, a product where the guys were working to save their livelihood so they left it all on the canvas. It had fans who had near religious zeal for the product and would never try to hijack anything and the building was like a cathedral. I loved every minute of it.

This is what ECW was. The fans loved it. The wrestlers loved it. We all didn’t want it to fail. I remember feeling like ECW has a great product and if people were able to experience this then it would never go away. It wasn’t supposed to work. It had no budget, it had no support, Paul was fighting weekly with the TV, the big clubs had been raiding their talent for years. Eric Bishoff had said he was going to put Paul Heyman out of business and piss on ECW’s grave. The company was on the verge of failing for 7 years. The reason it didn’t? The fans came out. Paul lied cheated and stole and wrestlers sometimes worked for free. Almost everyone on that show was owed money to or leaving the company. So why did those talents go out there and kill themselves? Why did I see more effort from Taz working for ECW that night than I did the entire time he was working for the WWE? Why did I see Tajiri give more effort in front of 900 people than I see the entire TNA roster while it’s fighting for it’s tv?

All I know is ECW mattered. I got to see Tommy Dreamer, Taz, The Sandman, ECW World Champion Stevie Corino, The Dudley Boys, Mikey Whipwreck, Balls Mahoney and Rhino. I was there. I got to see ECW in all it’s glory and I don’t think ive ever felt that way about anything else. I get goosebumps thinking about it. The Dudley Boys and Taz were already signed to the WWE. But they came back and it felt like they came back for me.

After the show my brother even took me for a coke in the downstairs bar of the Elks Lodge. The bar was breathtaking. I remember feeling like I went back in time And what I remember most, I had so much electricity and adrenaline running through me that I just kept giggling. There is this line from Fever Pitch (a movie which makes no sense because the Sox won the series but read the book) “You love the Red Sox, but have they ever loved you back?” That night, all the hours I had spent watching ECW, all the tapes I had invested, the tshirts, the getting yelled at for watching “that trash” as my mother called it. The look of disgust on some of my friends faces as I got sucked into a wrestling argument at lunch. It all payed off because ECW loved me back.

In Closing. Wrestling is Ring Opera, it is about experiencing live theater and for me, sometimes, it is about feeling part of something, an experience. The best venues, you can feel like you are part of that experience by sitting at home. You can feel the electricity. A great venue is more than just a squared circle and fans. A great venue is a setting and live wrestling makes you part of the show. Most of my favorite venues to see wrestling in aren’t my favorite because of the matches (tho those certainly help) but because of the people I shared those moments with. Go see live wrestling from the small independent high school gym to the TV production that is the WWE’s circus. You never know what you might experience.
 

It's past midnight, and I have class in the morning. I don't have time to read this column again and again. I don't have time to think about what I might type or go back and edit.

I just need to write.

Tomorrow I will continue to be shamed.

This is the funny fuckin' thing about life, about the lived human experience: it is not linear.

We progress and we regress. We are lifted up and we are brought down. We are loved by one, hated by another, and, worse, get no reaction whatsoever from some.

It's not just pro wrestling. In life, there is no worse response than an audience that does not care.

So yeah, in life, you graduate high school, big-person on campus, just to be a freshman again. Again and again you rise and fall. You are somebody until you are nobody and nobody until you are somebody again.

In 2013, I had to decide between two Master's programs, and I did something that maybe nobody else in the world has ever done. I wrote columns, wrestling as the great metaphor, until I figured out which university I wanted to choose.

Yes, I chose my Master's program off of CF columns and the responses I received.

And I based much of my work off Bobby Roode, who had, at that time, recently dominated the heavyweight division in TNA. I considered Roode to be of the earth element--very sound, very grounded, very methodical.

I am the opposite.

I am of the air element.

Everything I've ever done has been based in the invisible.

I am emotion.

I am energy.

I am the experiential.

I walk in a room and I can't tell you what it looks like or what anyone is wearing, but I can tell you the mood of the person three rows back who has yet to speak a word.

But Bobby Roode.

He doesn't strike me as a man of the inner world.

He is of the earth. He is leg strength and spinebusters and he doesn't use his time away from wrestling to contemplate the world. He uses it to watch hockey.

In 2013, I made myself methodical.

I copied Bobby Roode.

I traded air for earth and I chose the program opposite of what I would have otherwise chosen.

And funny thing: life imitated art. In the program, I learned critical thinking. I learned to use my mind and not just my expressions. I happened to become the person I imitated to make my choice.

But it's over two years later.

I have graduated from that program, and I moved a thousand miles to start a PhD program.

But the program I'm in, while it may be a better fit, is not the program I wanted to choose. It's the program my mentors told me to choose.

See,

friends,

I have now experienced the other side of giving away your natural element.

I became so good at being something that I'm not that I forgot who I truly am.

I became very social and often led my cohort. I influenced them and they influenced me. I came to believe, according to my teachings, that there was no personal, no individual, that everything was socially constructed and socially influenced.

But guess what happens when your social influences influence you to move 1,000 miles away.

You wake up one morning and everything that you've known is gone. You wake up one morning and there is no one to tell you what to do or where to go or even why you're where you are.

You wake up one morning and don't know who you are, where you are, or what the hell you're doing.

And it's not like you can ask yourself. You were once of the air element. You could touch the sky, gather the most elusive emotions, and bring them back down for humankind. You could go inward and find anything anyone needed, at any moment.

But you gave it all away.

And you wake one morning and you remember

that there is

a personal

and there is

an intuition

and there are

instincts.

And you write your way forward, write your way up, out of bed, and you look out the window and see within your soul.

You remember

that everything you see

is everything you are.

You are not quite redeemed.

Your not flying again.

But you've got that first feeling.

And you remember,

emotionally,

you remember in your being,

that you are a being,

and that you have a choice.

And you know

you're getting ready

to do something

dangerous

again.

And you look to Bobby Roode,

and you wonder:

What the fuck were you doing when you were playing the babyface?

When you looked like a poor man's Nikita Koloff?

You went from longest reigning world champion to a world title win that didn't even entice me.

When you were playing the babyface, were you doing a role reversal similar to mine? Had you forsaken the earth element, the methodical, to pretend that you were born to prance about, all good-ish like, and maybe try to fly?

Now you've wrestled tag matches, and I hear that they were good. But I don't want to watch them, either.

I don't want to see you, Bobby Roode, as anything less than what you were born to be. Just like I no longer want to see myself as less than my elemental birth.

So I see a tweet the other day, Bobby Roode, and it says that you will be in the GFW world title tournament.

A new place.

A new start.

Another chance.

I don't guess you will win it, but could you want to?

Could you fight for it?

Cheat for it?

Hell, maybe kill for it?

Could I see what I saw in 2012 once more?

In other words, once we've fallen out of favor and lost ourselves, is there a way back to what we used to be?

See, I haven't told you this

but

while I may end up staying where I am

and choosing this place

I may just as easily

in a year

transfer

to a place

of my own choosing.

I may do something crazy,

impulsive,

instinctive.

I may blow up the world constructed,

to remember what it's like to walk amongst broken shards.

GFW is like transferring to a similar program. It isn't TNA, but is like it, or maybe even is it.

Last time I went first

in trading elements

and it worked for awhile.

You followed.

This time you go first.

And I will be watching

and hoping

that our better days

are not somehow lost in time.

I can't be Bobby Roode. I know that to be true. And you sure as hell don't want to be me.

But could we recreate what was never created in the first place?

Could we go back to being what we were when we weren't trying to be anything at all?

Or is the truth much worse?

Did we stop being who we originally were because there is no place in the external world that will privilege who we were?

I benefited from trading away my air element, at least in the academy.

And maybe you played Nikita Koloff and the tag wrestler because nobody will let you be who you truly are.

Maybe we never wanted to change.

Maybe there just ceased being a place for us as we were.

I want to go back, Bobby.

I want to be me again.

And it sure as hell would help me

if I could see you

be you

again.

And they battled atop the fifteen foot high cage. For Triple H, his WWF Championship was at stake. For Cactus Jack, his seventeen year career hung in the balance. Despite his vision impaired by his own blood, he desperately struck Triple H with flaming barbed wire. Victory was close, and a pile driver into the fire appeared to be his coup de gras. But a reversal later, Mick’s body, and Championship dreams, free falled through the cage, sinking the mat. The spoiler button on WWE Network reads “Triple H Finishes Cactus Jack With A Pedigree”. But that doesn’t convey the whole story of what transpired as that match, and rivalry (seemingly) concluded.


Triple H and Mick Foley rang in 2000 with one of WWE’s most memorable programs. Three times they squared off that year: Royal Rumble (Street Fight), No Way Out (Hell In A Cell), and WrestleMania (Fatal Fourway w/ Big Show and The Rock). On a mainstream level, it’s a challenge to find many programs as violent as this one. The usage of thumb tacks, fire and barbed wire were prevalent here. And for a few reasons, some clear, some subtle, these three matches had enduring ramifications that effect the two participants, and the WWE product, in 2015.

The first is the obvious one: Triple H was legitimized as main event material. That summer saw Stone Cold, The Rock, Mankind and Undertaker in the main event scene. Triple H had a lot to prove to be considered more than just the leader of a mid-card stable. Despite beating Mankind for the WWF Championship and successful title defenses against Austin and Rock, not everyone was buying into “The Game”.

Enter Cactus Jack. Not Mankind. Cactus Jack. Foley’s sicker, more twisted alter ego. The two fought in a Street Fight at Royal Rumble, in the hallowed halls of Madison Square Garden. Cactus promised to stain New York City with Triple H’s blood, and he proved to be a man of his word. On that Sunday before the Super Bowl, they took the fight to each other like no two superstars had in WWF history. One proved the legends of Japan to be true, that he was undeniably the King of the Death Match. The other proved that he deserved his name on MSG’s marquee that evening.

Both men underwent an excessive amount of punishment that night, an extension of their great psychology and storytelling. Once Foley was Pedigreed the second time, this time onto thumb tacks, something was evident: Triple H had arrived. After Cactus also put him over in a Retirement HIAC match at No Way Out, and a special return match at WrestleMania, he belonged in every main event he was advertised for. The same wrestler who took the viciousness of Cactus Jack, and still won, was a match for anyone in the industry. Most bought him as a favorite against Kurt Angle, Big Show and Chris Jericho, and a realistic threat to The Rock or Stone Cold. Fifteen years later, ten World Titles later, he’s become a seemingly permanent fixture of WWE programming.

Most wrestling fans cite this as the major, lasting result of this feud. However, there is another I’d like to add; Triple H helped put an exclamation point on Foley’s career. That’s right, Triple H did something special for Foley here. It was a two way street, and while I agree Foley did more for HHH, he offered something in return.

Since WWF became a steam rolling force in 1998, Foley had mostly been the light hearted, likable Mankind. The guy who cheered up Vince McMahon with a sock puppet at the hospital, brought a clown with balloons to the ring to celebrate The Rock, and did numerous other fun spirited acts. The beatings he took, especially from The Rock, were usually one sided. Through his selflessness of wanting other wrestlers to look strong, he didn’t dish out what he suffered through.

“…I started thinking a little bit about what Mankind was. Now, Mankind is an entertaining son of a gun. Mankind is a pretty damn good author. Mankind is one tough SOB… one thing Mankind is not, is ready to face you (Triple H) at the Royal Rumble in a Street Fight at Madison Square Garden…as you said, in some ways, Mankind is nothing more than a beaten up pathetic fool. But I think the WWF fans deserve a substitute in that match, what I’m going to do, Triple H, is I’m going to name him right now. As a matter of fact, I think you know the guy, I think you know him pretty damn well. His name is Cactus Jack!”

For most of Foley’s pre-WWE career, he was Cactus Jack. He competed in matches with C-4 explosives, beds of nails, thumb tacks, barbed wire, and dove onto countless concrete floors. While he had a reputation for taking beatings, he also had a reputation for wanting to dish them out. And while Mick admits he’s very proud of the good natured version of Mankind, he also wanted to end his career as the sadistic bad ass he was for so long. To paraphrase Mick, the 97-98 WWF run of Cactus Jack wasn’t that memorable. He didn’t want the Attitude Era’s new wave of fans to only remember him for Mr. Socko.

Triple H sold Cactus Jack as a legit threat, someone he was deathly afraid of. Everything Mick wanted Cactus to be, Triple H acted like he was. A warped individual who wasn’t afraid to set you, or himself, on fire. The extreme violence Foley was known for taking, he was dishing out on Triple H at the Royal Rumble, No Way Out, and (to an extent) at WrestleMania.


By 1999, the dives onto concrete floors were catching up to Mick, and his body was clearly breaking down. His status as an attraction had never been better, but in ring he was lacking. For the Royal Rumble and No Way Out matches, he said he took time off to train and lose weight, and while he says he was at his very best for these matches, Triple H still performed at a higher level. Triple H was arguably the best worker in the company. While Mick wasn’t carried here, those matches wouldn’t have been as special without Triple H being as skilled as he was.

But there is one more lasting effect from this feud. Triple H pinned Foley three times on three consecutive pay per views. As you know, Triple H was the heel and Foley the face. In the WWF’s modern history, no heel held a clean win over a main event face. The win had to be tainted somehow, whether by interference, a distraction, a foreign object, or some shenanigan. But with these matches (all no holds barred, so weapons were legal) Triple H’s wins (and the fall at WM 2000) were clean.

This opened the door for main event heels to get clean wins over main event faces. Villains could gain a sense of credibility they couldn’t before, and could become a steeper mountain for future opponents. The main event scene has become more unpredictable because of it. We’ve seen Kurt Angle make Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit tap out to the ankle lock, Brock Lesnar break the Undertaker’s undefeated streak, and Kevin Owens upset John Cena. All clean wins by villains over main event heroes.

It’s easy to say “It would have happened anyway”, but we don’t know for sure how history would be different. Jackie Robinson wasn’t the first African American in Major League Baseball, but that doesn’t negate his impact. Had he not been as talented as he was (a top 30 all time on quality of play alone) and had undeniable talent, maybe racist managers would have made excuses not to bring in more players from the Negro Leagues, slowing down integration. Had Mick Foley not done the favors for Triple H, and Triple H not made the most of it down the line, maybe heels getting clean wins wouldn’t be as prevalent today. Would Brock have squashed Cena last year, or would Paul Heyman have interfered somehow?

Mick Foley and Triple H’s series of matches in 2000 stand the test of time from more than just a quality standpoint. We see lasting effects of these matches today. Triple H’s dominance, Foley’s lasting impression as a full time performer, and bad guys outright beating good guys. The program ended after WrestleMania 2000, but the influence can be felt in 2015.

Around the world, Wednesday nights have been regarded as the night for wrestling. There are 4 different shows on Wednesdays, three of them are only one hour long and three of them are not confined by the regular 'monthly' PPV schedule. With focus being put on the television shows instead of just hype towards a PPV, the Wednesday night schedule ends up including some of the best matches in the world. Four shows - Ring of Honor, Impact Wrestling, NXT, and Lucha Underground - that offer completely unique styles and stories. It's a great time to be a wrestling fan.

Of these 4 shows, I have found my home. One hour a week a Robert Rodriguez production claims my heart. My heart resides in the Temple, and the Temple is insanely glorious.


Last week, I built up Chavo Guerrero vs Prince Puma. I wrote extensively about the potential for outside affections to be involved in this match. I pegged Blue Demon, Dario Cueto, Konnan, Mil Muertes, Black Lotus and The Crew as likely to be involved in the match. All these interacting stories were touched upon over the course of the night, and yet… The final line of Temple Hype 2 was: Expect the unexpected.

Texano interjected himself against Chavo Guerrero, saving Puma from a gang-style beating. The interference was established earlier in the show (although Texano was kept hidden) and immediately afterward, the show established a new story with a very awesome/cheesy Blue Demon Jr. segment.


We are one month away from Ultima Lucha, (airing August 5th on the El Rey Network) and the card is still very fluid. We know that we'll be getting a Lucha Underground Championship match, but if the past two weeks are any indication the participants still aren't finalized. We'll have a match featuring the seven Aztec Medallions, that haven't even been handed out yet. Only one match is set in stone and that match will be Johnny Mundo vs Alberto El Patron.

For those of you unfamiliar with the netherworld known as anything-not-WWE, that match is John Morrison vs Alberto Del Rio.

The Competitors

Johnny Mundo has been everything that Lucha Underground must have wanted in a noteworthy name to build around. His in ring style is a very modern lucha/MMA hybrid that is really helping give Lucha Underground it's unique feel. He's 35 and while never quite near the top of WWE, he definitely built up a fanbase and always managed to stand out. He left the spotlight of the WWE nearly 3 years prior to Lucha Underground starting up and has made sure to steal as much of it as possible in the first season of Lucha Underground. Johnny Nitro failed at developing a character. John Morrison established a corny character that had limited upward mobility and was never taken seriously. Johnny Mundo excels.

His character hasn't really changed at all, he's still the conceited yet talented pretty boy that many people considered as the next HBK in all of his tag team stints. However, Lucha Underground's given him hunger. That hunger seethes throughout his every movement and emotion. The want. The drive. Johnny Mundo wants the whole world to look at him, and him alone. He's been booked the part of the star in Lucha Underground and every time he's been on screen, he's looked the part. This isn't the all-sizzle-no-steak John Morrison that was around in WWE. In the Temple, what made him excel in the past is common place, so he's had to amplify the other components of his wrestling to continue to stand out. On the technico side, his jump to save Puma was awe-inspiring and while more extreme moments have happened since then from the same spot, Mundo's ease in pulling it off cannot be matched. On the rude side, his viciousness has been superb. He hasn't started cheating, nor has he lost respect for his opponents. It's just the craving has over taken him, and it's bloody awesome.

His opponent is the artist formerly known as the black hole of charisma. The boring aristocrat. Mr. Get off My Screen. I know that he's the second biggest name on the free agent market behind the retired CM Punk, but why would Lucha Underground, a place where character shines through, want to bring in someone who reeks of WWE? HAVE YOU WATCHED LUCHA UNDERGROUND?!?! Alberto El Patron has quickly demonstrated that he was absolutely wasted in the WWE. He isn't just a man filled with charisma, he's bursting through the seams with it. He's intense and brutal he wants blood. He's the fucking boss… but you already knew that.

Every minute that Alberto is on screen in Lucha Underground is a treat. While his matches against Texano were not the best representation of his in-ring ability, they managed to etch the image of a man craving blood. He's not the man that walks around claiming destiny. He's the man who knows his destiny and will destroy anyone who stands in it's path.

Why It Matters

Two months ago, Johnny Mundo fulfilled a destiny of his own that us fans had laid out before him back in the days of MNM and again during the Miz and Morrison run. He became the embodiment of the showstopper when he put Alberto El Patron through a window. It was the turn we all expect to have happened long ago in a different land. In Lucha Underground, this was not a tribute to an angle of yesteryear. This was the boiling point for Johnny Mundo. A man came in with a bigger star than his own and Johnny Mundo wants his fucking star back.

The most amazing part about this match though, is the fact that it's competitors are the two most recognizable names that Lucha Underground has. And yet… the championship is not on the line. Why? Because throughout the season, the name value of these two stars have been used to build up other stars. Johnny Mundo legitimized Prince Puma, Cage and King Cuerno. Alberto established extra value in the Lucha Underground title by wanting it and not being able to become a contender for it. Let me repeat that.

Alberto El Patron. Former multi-time World Heavyweight Champion in the big leagues. Current Mega Champion in AAA. Hasn't even earned contendership status in Lucha Underground. Think about how highly that regards the other competitors in the Temple. Drago, Cuerno, Cage, Hernandez and Fenix all did something to earn a title match. Alberto El Patron still has not. Lucha Underground is straight up saying, "Oh, you were successful somewhere else? That's nice, whatever." Yes, they hyped up previous accolades and put over past feuds; however, they follow it up immediately by demonstrating the value of Lucha Underground's belt, and the value of EVERY MEMBER OF IT'S ROSTER.

Other companies don't have the balls to do this. The cajones that Lucha Underground has to book relative unknowns under new identities higher on the card that two established mega stars speaks bounds of the company. This is a company so confident in it's writing that it can book anyone in the locker-room to main event any given show, knowing that they can pull it off. Alberto El Patron is looking better than he ever did in the WWE main event scene, and yet he's competing in the midcard of a little company. Fucking brilliant.

Why it Will Be Glorious

You see, in Lucha Underground the world is hyperbole. The men who wear masks are not just luchadors with masks to represent tradition, the masks are REAL. The men who've made enemies have started WARS. This is a land where Texano and Blue Demon can consider themselves as representations of an entire nation, where everyone is a descendent of ancient tribes, a land where dragons and phoenixes exist and the supernatural is accepted as natural. And yet, the men without the masks or elaborate gimmicks are not merely men.

Johnny Mundo and Alberto El Patron were men before the temple. Men looking for glory. Inside the temple, they've changed. No longer are they just men. They've become warriors. When every match matter's and there is always something at stake like in Lucha Underground, the talent involved evolve so rapidly that you can no longer see them as just men.

Now, at Ultima Lucha you'll have Johnny Mundo, possessed by the spotlight, holding grudges against anyone who dare step into it, against Alberto El Patron, the living embodiment of desire. He knows what he wants and he will get it - anyone who gets in his path will suffer.

Men? No, these are warriors.

Ultima Lucha will be their war.

Wednesday nights are for worship, and mass is held at the temple.Wednesday nights are for worship, and mass is held at the temple.